About violetsweety : Hi I'm Sammie. c: Message me. I like messages. I might be late though because I rarely go on the actual website. I use the app!I go on the website, once a year.
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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37292) - you deserved it (4193)
On 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by orgasmicriding (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29775) - you deserved it (9026)
On 12/22/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by brunetteshavemorefun (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29770) - you deserved it (3027)
On 12/22/2012 at 6:21am - misc - by divingconfidence (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26786) - you deserved it (13111)
On 12/21/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by Syd - United States (Texas)
Today, my friend and I told each other about our boyfriends. They're both nice, kind, beautiful, talented, funny, sweet and smart. They also both have the same name. And house. And job. And car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34113) - you deserved it (1971)
On 12/08/2012 at 5:44am - love - by ouch. - Canada (Yukon Territory)
Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5584) - you deserved it (17402) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version
Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16546) - you deserved it (1956)
On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my best friend told me that I wasn't invited to her wedding, saying that I was too pretty and that I would outshine her at the ceremony. I laughed and said that she was being ridiculous. She eventually confessed the real reason why I wasn't invited: apparently I'm an annoying bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10067) - you deserved it (14486)
On 11/07/2012 at 2:31am - misc - by no cake for me (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my friend joked to my co-workers that my kitty-cat of a husband was going to beat me for spending $200 on shoes. Later on, my rather large dog was so excited to see me when I walked in the door, he split my lip. Somehow, I don't think they'll believe me when I get to the office tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14795) - you deserved it (1808)
On 11/06/2012 at 4:32am - work - by iLuvsIt (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I looked up the side effects of the antidepressants I've recently started taking. Inability to orgasm is one of them. I can either not be depressed, or I can have an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20163) - you deserved it (2598)
On 11/05/2012 at 2:25pm - intimacy - by HappinessOrOrgasms (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21572) - you deserved it (1650)
On 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21991) - you deserved it (2326)
On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)
Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19801) - you deserved it (1193)
On 10/31/2012 at 7:30am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18080) - you deserved it (2103)
On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)
Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23331) - you deserved it (2376)
On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)
Friday 24 May 2013
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