About violetsweety : Hi!
They say I'm cocky, just because I think I am hot. But I think everybody is hot also.
About violetsweety : Hi!
violetsweety's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
violetsweety's favorite FMLs
Today, I went on a blind date. At the end of the night, I told him I had a surprisingly great time. He replied, "Yeah, that was fun. You're really funny and smart. If you were pretty, I'd totally go out with you again." FML
by fiercehawk / 02/18/2014 at 12:45am / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, I was at work at the airport. I got called up to a plane's cargo hold, and thought I'd finally learn how to use the loader. Turns out they just needed me to weigh something down, effectively making me ballast. Then my boss told me to get the hell off, after which I hit my head hard climbing out. FML
by Anonymous / 02/17/2014 at 12:36pm / United States / Work
by vegas-81 / 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm / France / Intimacy
by O_o / 02/08/2014 at 7:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML
by Unknown / 02/07/2014 at 9:18am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
by neighbor / 01/26/2014 at 8:08am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Z3R0G5 / 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals
Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML
by whatjusthappened / 12/20/2013 at 3:45am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML
by ANONYMOUS -_- / 12/15/2013 at 12:18pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, while on my way to work, an elderly woman complimented me on my breast cancer scarf. I explained that my grandmother made one for all her female grandchildren before passing away two years ago. The woman then went psycho and almost strangled me in an attempt to steal it. FML
by Whackgourd / 12/11/2013 at 1:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by MissDQ / 12/02/2013 at 8:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, concerned about my daughter's recent behavior, I looked through her web browser history. I found web searches for information on how to make a bomb to blow up a "horse". I'm not sure if she's illiterate, but either way it seems I need to get her some help. FML
by Anonymous / 12/01/2013 at 4:43pm / United States (Hawaii) / Kids
Today, I met the guy I've been talking to online for two years in real life. He tried to convince me to have his children because they would be average height. He's a midget and I'm 6'2". This is the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to me. FML
by heightdifference / 11/28/2013 at 11:34am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/27/2013 at 11:28am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by thank god you'll only live once / 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
- Today, I downloaded Grindr to my phone. It also downloaded to my mom's phone, my dad's phone, and… Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times… Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was…