vintaqe

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vintaqe

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1905
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About vintaqe : •26
•Sunny FL
•Never married, never birthed anything
•Service Dog Trainer by day, catwoman by night

I'm a jack of all trades. You name it, I can do it. I have my own company that specializes in volunteer work for single parents who can't afford child care.

I believe in karma.

I'm not here looking for my Prince Charming. I think that's just weird. I'm not even here to "chat" but if you can make me laugh, I will reply. If you message me with just "hi" or "hey, how are you?" You can bet your sweet toosh I won't reply. Give me content, people.

I am the one you love to hate, a grammar nazi. ;]

"Little angel go away, come again some other day. The devil has my ear today, I'll never hear a word you say. He promised I would find a little solace and some peace of mind, whatever just as long as I don't feel so .. desperate, ravenous. So weak and powerless, over you."

ιoνε νίɴτaƣε

vintaqe's page activity

Visits<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 2:34pm<b>slappygecko</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 11:41am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 6:39am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 1:17am<b>cornyrob</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 3:37pm<b>glencoco63</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 2:41am<b>jill97</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 11:30pm<b>SunshineBoy</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 4:37pm<b>jesswoo</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 7:27pm<b>Rich531</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 5:46pm<b>Mr_Brightside_</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 10:13pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 10:08am<b>Doberman101</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 11:34pm<b>Bibblejomin</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 4:37pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 11:57pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 2:53pm<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 8:35pm<b>Damafia</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 8:32am

Fucked!<b>cornyrob</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 9:37pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 5:57am<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 2:35am<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 5:00am

vintaqe's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of vintaqe's badges

vintaqe's favorite FMLs

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

by JustSomeGuy / 07/29/2013 at 11:43pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

by turning red / 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML

by picklebug / 07/26/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part: he was by himself. FML

by amiezingme / 07/26/2013 at 9:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my husband removed the TV from our bedroom to improve our sex life. Still no sex because he watches TV on his iPhone. FML

by oddgrrl99 / 07/23/2013 at 6:42pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

by MenstruallyFrustrated / 07/23/2013 at 1:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, my husband was chased out of a bar after he was seen slipping something into a woman's drink. I was the woman, the 'something' was aspirin, and that's the last time we ever try to role-play. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I got a speeding ticket while taking my drivers license test. FML

by dust1535538 / 10/13/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML

by Kristache / 07/02/2009 at 4:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

by Angelofkarma / 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

by catlady1989 / 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML

by Rhyno / 05/05/2009 at 11:37am / United States (New York) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

by soontobedivorced / 04/19/2009 at 12:05am / United States (New York) / Intimacy