![[fr]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_fr_hover.gif)
![[it]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_it_hover.gif)
![[es2]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_es2_hover.gif)
![[tr]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_tr_hover.gif)
![[de]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_de_hover.gif)
![[ru]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_ru_hover.gif)
![[se]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_se_hover.gif)
This member hasn't filled in the description.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34598) - you deserved it (6217)
On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States
Today, I received a text message from my wife who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends: "Have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you tomorrow morning." His? FML
I agree, your life sucks (36116) - you deserved it (2991) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/30/2011 at 1:21am - love - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, my brother and father thought it would be a good idea to wake me up by turning on a chainsaw and wearing hockey masks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26250) - you deserved it (3207)
On 01/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by unlucky dudebag - United States (California)
Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35267) - you deserved it (4109)
On 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Scaredwitless (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6642) - you deserved it (21264)
On 01/20/2011 at 5:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9708) - you deserved it (15560)
On 12/06/2010 at 12:03pm - misc - by bribreeeeeezyfreshhh (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29985) - you deserved it (3516)
On 11/29/2010 at 10:03pm - kids - by Laura -
Today, my dad was completely engrossed in a football game on TV, so, trying to be cute and funny, my mom flashed him. He didn't notice, but I did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23264) - you deserved it (1957)
On 11/25/2010 at 1:33pm - misc - by blenderbookf (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I learned that I wasn't really allergic to chocolate. My parents made it up when I was a child because they didn't want me to get fat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29250) - you deserved it (2837)
On 11/25/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by wow (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43368) - you deserved it (6090)
On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42673) - you deserved it (2158) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my boyfriend was seated in my section at work. As he sees me his face drops... he's on a date. He had forgotten I work there. I had to serve him and his date, and they didn't leave a tip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34581) - you deserved it (2147)
On 10/28/2010 at 12:27am - love - by heshay - United States (Texas)
Today, I passed a car, and heard a baby crying in the back seat. It was hot and no one was around. All the doors were locked so I broke it with a rock, cutting my arm and setting the alarm off. Only to find out that it was a realistic baby doll. I have to get 7 stitches and pay for the window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20209) - you deserved it (5537)
On 10/09/2010 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - Antigua and Barbuda (Saint John)
Today, I was driving down the road. A giant seagull flew into my windsheild and shattered it. If that is not bad enough, the carcass slid up my windshield, into my sunroof, and suddenly I had a bloody, dead passenger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22513) - you deserved it (1827)
On 10/08/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57370) - you deserved it (5790)
On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
