About vicious_fashion : "Life unfolds only in moments; quality of life is determined by how you deal with your moments, not which moments happen and which do not"
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
vicious_fashion's favorite FMLs
Today, I've been awake for 4 days. My doctor recently put me on enough sleeping pills to kill a small country, but when I take them it's like a shot of adrenaline. I'm wide awake and tired as all hell at the same time. FML
by dead / 03/18/2016 at 3:40pm / United Kingdom / Health
Today, I found out that you can give your grandpa a Vietnam flashback when you set off a leftover firecracker from New Years. I also found out that a 76 year old hits pretty fucking hard when freaking out. FML
by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 11:09am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I made some brownies to take over to my dad's place for his party. He started yelling at me when I told him I'd added a special ingredient for taste, demanding to know what I had slipped them. Cinnamon. It was cinnamon. FML
by WolfAvenge / 09/30/2015 at 2:49am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by rightlessonwrong / 09/15/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I went directly from the shopping mall to the hospital. My sister had slammed my hand in the car door, all because I considered purchasing a dress that looked like something she might buy for herself. FML
by vicious_fashion / 08/12/2014 at 1:34am / United States (Idaho) / Health
by unicorn_skies / 01/18/2014 at 3:33am / United States (California) / Money
Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML
by interphaseprophasemetaphase / 09/04/2013 at 7:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, the doctor told my husband that he is infertile due to slow sperm. As if this is not upsetting enough, my husband blames it on me. According to him, his sperm doesn't get 'aroused' because I'm not sexy enough. FML
by Iamdisappointed / 07/24/2013 at 7:50am / Sweden (Dalarnas Lan) / Intimacy
by HamSandwich12 / 05/08/2013 at 10:17am / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
by Anonymous / 09/14/2012 at 10:50am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I corrected someone who spelled "learned" as "learnt" on my favorite forum. Nothing could've prepared me for the torrent of abuse that followed from the non-American members. Now I'm banned for "trolling," and all my 7,000+ posts since 2006 are gone forever. FML
by Anonymous / 05/08/2012 at 6:10pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by NoPrivacy / 04/26/2012 at 6:44am / United States / Work
by shredded / 02/11/2011 at 7:26pm / United Kingdom (Richmond upon Thames) / Miscellaneous
Today, after spotting my ex-boyfriend's truck in a desolate parking lot, I decided to "decorate" the muddy side of it with a rather large male appendage. After checking around me to make sure there were no witnesses, I got to work. I probably should have made sure he wasn't sitting in the truck. FML
by lululee53 / 12/30/2010 at 7:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/22/2010 at 2:52pm / United States / Love
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, I was showing off my sexy new lingerie set to my boyfriend. While we were getting frisky, he… Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to… Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds…