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vibernum

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 247
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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vibernum's page activity

Visits<b>HeartForMusic</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 5:14am<b>kambrai0811</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 6:59am<b>staaacey</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 2:13pm<b>apu_nahasapeemap</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 11:47am<b>joskinny</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 11:15pm<b>lbrown66</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 9:48am

vibernum's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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vibernum's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

by fsfs / 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Miscellaneous

Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML

by tal / 08/22/2012 at 5:57am / France / Animals

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered how pathetically introverted I am when during a car ride with my family, I said, "I really like this song" and my parents gasped because they didn't realize I was in the back seat. And I'm their only child. FML

by mississippi123 / 08/06/2012 at 1:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML

by Epiphany / 07/19/2012 at 5:01am / United States / Health

Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2012 at 4:19pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

by tuggernuts / 07/17/2012 at 11:32am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

by Dammit / 07/07/2012 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML

by zombieguyswife / 06/28/2012 at 7:44pm / United States (Missouri) / Health