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vespergreen

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vespergreen

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1916
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About vespergreen : I got to stay high all my life to forget I'm missing you.

vespergreen's page activity

Visits<b>Fancyman123</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 6:35am<b>Shorty197</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 2:08am<b>quiet_storm09</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 4:10am<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:12am<b>sammy1021</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:25pm<b>srinivasawesum</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 2:47am<b>nela25</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 10:51am<b>NWO666</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 4:46pm<b>chris1045</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 1:06am<b>Live4funny</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 8:44am<b>thebeast74</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 12:41am<b>zeriously95</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 4:25am<b>wild_cherry</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 7:45am<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 4:13pm<b>Jenra</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 9:11am<b>Arni792</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 12:20am<b>chaserich11</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:27pm<b>wyattray77</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 6:42pm

vespergreen's FML badges

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

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vespergreen's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand. Bookmarked. FML

#20417856
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39716) - you deserved it (4056)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

#20415890
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16033) - you deserved it (45583)

On 12/23/2012 at 10:02am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML

#20415555
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33493) - you deserved it (8079)

On 12/23/2012 at 3:24am - animals - by Kate (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

#20408274
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37894) - you deserved it (13825)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32997) - you deserved it (3603)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while at the airport waiting for my flight, I sat down next to a mother and her son. As I pulled out a water bottle, she leaned over to her son and said, "Promise me you will never do what the man next to you just did." I have no idea what the hell I did wrong. FML

Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML

#20405502
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12467) - you deserved it (31948)

On 12/18/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by I said whaat -

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

#20405418
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29983) - you deserved it (8560)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML

#20405129
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15622) - you deserved it (25337)

On 12/18/2012 at 2:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my drunk girlfriend maxed out my credit card, on an "authentic" Jesus Christ autograph on eBay. FML

#20397287
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27669) - you deserved it (4702)

On 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by maxedoutidiot - United States

Today, in art class, our instructor called me up to the front to model for a drawing. I agreed to pose because it was nice to be called on, and I needed a self-esteem boost. He then thanked me, saying it's a great exercise for the class to draw such strange proportions. FML

#20202076
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23896) - you deserved it (2015)

On 12/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my daughter wore my favorite Christmas sweater to an ugly sweater party. FML

#20201801
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20761) - you deserved it (8789)

On 12/12/2012 at 11:05am - kids - by Saduglydad - United States (Texas)

Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML

#20201213
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17722) - you deserved it (7502)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31517) - you deserved it (6235)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML

#20186785
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7862) - you deserved it (23750)

On 12/01/2012 at 3:21pm - health - by fieldmarshalclitter (man) - United States



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