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vernk

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vernk

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4016
  • Number of comments : 260
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About vernk : silent type

vernk's page activity

Visits<b>nancy_rm</b> - yesterday at 10:05pm<b>ScrabbleReeses</b> - yesterday at 4:09pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 4:53am<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 5:43am<b>Esoomian</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 10:40pm<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 10:48pm<b>Karennnx</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 6:43am<b>Lesser</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 7:46pm<b>SkipBeatOtaku</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 6:28pm<b>RockyLovesARacer</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 10:39am<b>kuso</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 10:50am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 9:43pm<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 11:22am<b>klenorris</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:00am<b>Ev3d11</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 9:06pm<b>_Lenah_</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 11:52pm<b>AmericaAmurka</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:06pm<b>chuksnwali</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 10:27pm

Fucked!<b>ScrabbleReeses</b> - yesterday at 10:09pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 10:53am<b>Lesser</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 12:46am

vernk's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of vernk's badges

vernk's favorite FMLs

Today, I couldn't take home the free weights I'd planned on buying to start bodybuilding 'cos I couldn't lift the box, which was too heavy for me. FML

#715
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20481) - you deserved it (5072)

On 01/06/2009 at 3:28am - misc - by Fred - Sent from mobile version

Today, I received a text message from my girlfriend saying: "Do you remember last time we slept together?", I answer straight away "Of course I do, it was great!". To which she replies: "I hope you made the most of it: it was the last". FML

#676
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28351) - you deserved it (2456)

On 01/02/2009 at 12:37am - love - by Godmish - Sent from mobile version

Today, and for the last 8 months my upstairs neighbours have been making a tremendous noise. I finally decided to go up to complain: "The amount of noise you make is unbelievable ! It sounds like you're driving tractors up here!". The woman replies: "My husband is paraplegic..." FML

#654
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19864) - you deserved it (8593)

On 01/01/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Jared - Sent from mobile version

Today, I attended a speed dating evening. After 7 minutes, the girl told me she wasn't interested. I asked her at what point of the conversation she had made up her mind, she answered: "When you said 'Hello'. Goodbye". FML

#639
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20069) - you deserved it (2177)

On 12/30/2008 at 10:48pm - misc - by Aintnosunshine - Sent from mobile version

Today, my cat didn't quite manage to eat the whole turkey because it was frozen. He just licked it all over. FML

#615
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24839) - you deserved it (4803)

On 12/28/2008 at 2:02am - animals - by bundie - Sent from mobile version

Today, my fiancé told me, that after 7 years together, he is no longer in love with me. Shocked and appalled, I ask him if he has anything else to add. "Happy Birthday". FML

#608
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32304) - you deserved it (1812)

On 12/27/2008 at 5:26am - love - by Nalya - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was reading the end of my book. I turn the page and see, written at the top: "Lauren kills Paul in the end... You shouldn't have pissed me off." It was from my sister, we had a fight yesterday. FML

#594
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22211) - you deserved it (6455)

On 12/25/2008 at 7:57am - misc - by poupi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was jerking off in the train washroom when the ticket inspector knocked at the door. I was nearly done so I didn't open right away. I didn't think he would have the key…I found myself face to face with him and three other passengers. The worst being I didn't have a ticket. FML

#583
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9517) - you deserved it (70324)

On 12/24/2008 at 3:40am - intimacy - by lip - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss asked me "can I give you some constructive criticism?". I said yes. He tells me "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

#576
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28057) - you deserved it (3374)

On 12/22/2008 at 11:18pm - work - by crapules - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to put my computer on slideshow mode. Did you know that hidden files are also read when you put slideshow on? I discovered this, as did my entire family, when my naked girlfriend appeared on the screen. FML

#549
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21120) - you deserved it (13080)

On 12/19/2008 at 12:17am - misc - by Mr Hawks - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was telling off one of my friends, a fellow student of medicine, who was spending his evenings watching "House" instead of revising for our important exam, as I was. The topic mentioned in the episode came up in the exam. He got 4 points more than I did. FML

#532
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28593) - you deserved it (8716)

On 12/17/2008 at 4:40am - love - by Gen - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband invited his boss and his wife to dinner. During the meal, I tasted the wine and apologised for its bad quality, somewhat annoyed: "Dont drink that, I'll go and look for another bottle." Unfortunately, it was our guests who had brought the wine in question. FML

#416
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24344) - you deserved it (9795)

On 11/29/2008 at 11:11am - misc - by Buzz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was looking for a magazine in my mother's bedside cabinet and I came across some daft test about sex. Apparently, my mother likes anal, oral, and my dad's cock is bent. Nauseous. FML

#386
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39704) - you deserved it (9249)

On 11/25/2008 at 3:54am - intimacy - by mael - Sent from mobile version

Today, after a year together, my boyfriend admitted to me that in bed I had as much an effect on him as a crossword puzzle. FML

#354
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28607) - you deserved it (4011)

On 11/21/2008 at 5:06am - love - by Mary - Sent from mobile version

Today, I get to see my boyfriend again after a month. So I decided to shave my pubic hair in the shape of a heart. After my little striptease, he gasped in admiration "Aaaw, Batman sign!" FML

#349
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31559) - you deserved it (15222)

On 11/20/2008 at 7:55am - love - by batgirl - Sent from mobile version



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