Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

vernk

Online | Search for a member

vernk

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2149
  • Number of comments : 258
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About vernk : silent type

vernk's page activity

Visits<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 11:22am<b>klenorris</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:00am<b>Ev3d11</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 9:06pm<b>_Lenah_</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 11:52pm<b>AmericaAmurka</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:06pm<b>chuksnwali</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 10:27pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 2:58pm<b>RockyLovesARacer</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:11pm<b>Rajafashaneshi</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 4:36pm<b>Cabhm</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 4:24am<b>petrolhead</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 10:51am<b>lorynnwatt</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 7:57pm<b>zBerryz</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 2:18am<b>watermelon1</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 10:26pm<b>qdawg06</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 9:08pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 5:16pm<b>billionair11</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 1:13am<b>imalosertho</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 7:21pm

vernk's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of vernk's badges

vernk's favorite FMLs

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60611) - you deserved it (20247)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML

#20587403
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48143) - you deserved it (13757)

On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my sister gave my laptop away and dumped a pile of her hamster's turds on my bed. All of this because I flushed the toilet while she was in the shower last night. FML

#20573279
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39426) - you deserved it (6076)

On 04/03/2013 at 2:45pm - misc - by poop (man) -

Today, my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it, it had a virus on it, and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML

#20559514
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37906) - you deserved it (6986)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by grossed out - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I bought an expensive razor that's supposed to be great. My roommate asked if she could borrow it, and as her legs just looked like they needed touching up, I said sure. After a strangely long amount of time, she came back, thanked me and left. Her legs were still hairy. FML

#20557395
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36260) - you deserved it (11733)

On 03/24/2013 at 1:30am - misc - by bleach (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML

#20552804
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31424) - you deserved it (2455)

On 03/20/2013 at 9:11pm - misc - by cheeseburglar_9000 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that my gorgeous, smart, perfect new boyfriend has an unusual fetish. It doesn't involve me at all actually. Just a Labrador. This is probably a deal breaker. FML

#20550555
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43553) - you deserved it (4415)

On 03/19/2013 at 7:30am - intimacy - by soontobesingle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's my third night of finally living on my own in a house. I can't count the number of times I have run to my knife and pepper spray after hearing "suspicious" sounds. Maybe I'm not ready to be an adult after all. FML

#20550428
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28390) - you deserved it (8232)

On 03/19/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by nearly20yetasfearfulasatoddlerhavingnightmares (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the gym with my grandma. In the span of an hour, she was hit on more than I ever have been in my life. FML

#20547830
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31305) - you deserved it (3823)

On 03/17/2013 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I found out through his Facebook update and a text message that my fiancé demoted me to girlfriend status. I was sitting in the next room. FML

#20547323
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30560) - you deserved it (2732)

On 03/17/2013 at 6:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend still won't talk to me, after I caused him the "worst embarrassment" of his life in front of his friends. What did I do wrong? I joined their conversation and ended up confusing the fictional characters of Gollum and Yoda with one another. FML

#20545430
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15956) - you deserved it (57764) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2013 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Centre)

Today, I told my girlfriend I've been a vegetarian for 6 years. Hearing this, my mom said, "No, you're not. I fry your mushrooms and onions in bacon grease." With this new information, I've been a vegetarian for about 76 hours. FML

#20544221
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33604) - you deserved it (8726)

On 03/15/2013 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML

#20543737
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34621) - you deserved it (2551)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by grandson of a p.o.s. (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. Depressed, I started telling her about my terrible week. A woman came over and asked me to not be so "whiny and negative" in front of her children. FML

#20542127
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27154) - you deserved it (6984)

On 03/13/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by marisacb (woman) - United States

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41803) - you deserved it (15700)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)



FML's blog

  • On FML, it's Halloween every day
  • As you know, we never pass up the chance to open up a light beer and plunge into the depths of the FML archive to come up with some sort of theme. Most holidays, national or otherwise, are pretty well represented.…

Friday 31 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: