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vermillionlove

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vermillionlove

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1732
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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vermillionlove's page activity

Visits<b>Skylae</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 6:38pm<b>octopussperm125</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 10:35am<b>CanadiansPlease</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 4:47pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 5:02pm<b>Palindromesque</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 7:38am<b>Allornone</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 8:05am<b>TheAnalPickle</b> - the 08/11/2010 at 1:40pm<b>Trollz4daLULZ</b> - the 08/10/2010 at 8:47am<b>KillaKingPerrie</b> - the 08/10/2010 at 7:20am<b>FarSide</b> - the 04/24/2010 at 2:42am<b>drinkupgorgeous</b> - the 06/22/2009 at 5:54am

vermillionlove's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

vermillionlove's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50286) - you deserved it (7814)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML

#16383481
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15067) - you deserved it (56596)

On 05/28/2011 at 5:24am - intimacy - by redhanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59228) - you deserved it (10100)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML

#16077554
482 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14224) - you deserved it (84063)

On 05/07/2011 at 11:29am - misc - by BCBUDDY - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

#15219004
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36630) - you deserved it (6533)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37581) - you deserved it (23407)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while skiing, I really needed to pee. The instructor pointed me towards some bushes. I slid over to them, and pulled my panties down. My skis then started sliding back down the slope. I ended up gliding through the bushes, all the way down to the rest of the group. FML

#14670797
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27520) - you deserved it (7382) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/22/2011 at 3:49am - misc - by sandra22 - Sent from mobile version

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

#14616201
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26745) - you deserved it (3857) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30722) - you deserved it (19929) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML

#14169295
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30363) - you deserved it (7689)

On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML

#14120118
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12313) - you deserved it (81544)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while sleeping over at my girlfriend's house for the first time, I got up to go to the bathroom. I went to go back and once in the room asked, "You ready for round two baby?" The light came on and at this moment I realized I went into her parents bedroom by mistake. FML

#14007811
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16502) - you deserved it (38907)

On 11/28/2010 at 2:10am - intimacy - by apavies444 - United States

Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML

#13912441
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23065) - you deserved it (6492)

On 11/20/2010 at 2:07pm - kids - by Lexi - Canada

Today, after a heated debate with my friend on whether blondes are naturally stupid, I convinced her that I'm actually quite intelligent, and poured myself a glass of juice in victory. After finishing the glass, instead of returning the bottle back to the refrigerator, I put it in the cupboard. FML

#13551763
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7540) - you deserved it (35782)

On 10/22/2010 at 4:37pm - misc - by Blondie (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was walking outside when I saw my best friend about 100 meters away. I began running towards her, arms flailing, screaming out a tribal battle cry. It wasn't until I was nearly on top of her that I realised it was someone else. FML

#13088642
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9946) - you deserved it (32104)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by ellinor (woman) - Sweden (Jonkopings Lan)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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