venus89

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venus89

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1604
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About venus89 : Hey! My name is Mel. What's up?

venus89's page activity

Visits<b>borns19</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 9:56am<b>Jude64</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 3:18pm<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 1:17am<b>Project71</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 5:22pm<b>lVluse</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 7:42am<b>prajju99</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 4:17am<b>kianabanannna</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 1:08pm<b>rfid</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 12:35am<b>Railworker12</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 6:15pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 8:32am<b>jerryj</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 8:20am<b>pratikp03</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 9:46pm<b>Phaeno</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 8:14am<b>zah2an724</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 2:42pm<b>jackwilliams</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 11:46pm<b>nyancait</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 10:26am<b>SolarFlare</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 11:49am<b>ThisIsSoOriginal</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 7:56pm

venus89's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of venus89's badges

venus89's favorite FMLs

Today, my 8-year-old sister matter-of-factly said that she's going to get married before me if I don't stop wearing track pants. FML

by Kendra_Nine / 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family for the first time. My mother's immediate reaction was, "We didn't know you were gay!" No mom, she really is a girl. FML

by Karim / 12/12/2012 at 12:29am / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Love

Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML

by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my birthday and I received a signed vintage Beatles' album from my wife. Awesome right? It's the same album some jerk way over-bidded me for on eBay. That jerk was my wife, using my credit card. FML

by xero_art / 06/26/2009 at 5:51am / United States (North Carolina) / Money

Today, a woman drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible, but now my house is condemned. FML

by Fitz / 04/12/2009 at 9:53am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

by bittersweet / 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

by caroline / 02/06/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy