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venomousddog

Offline (the 10/15/2014 at 8:44pm) | Search for a member

venomousddog

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 21 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 859
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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venomousddog's page activity

Visits<b>vikky538</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 6:29pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 2:10pm<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 12:15pm<b>Elric97</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 4:31pm<b>KaneHunter</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:47am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 10:02am<b>cassieperiodbee</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 12:43pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 8:00pm<b>MagicGiraffe</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 1:39am<b>Elovena</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 5:50pm<b>Maddy9111</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 3:15pm<b>neeena94</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 8:31am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 3:55am<b>homeboyangst</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 10:09pm<b>chrissy2</b> - the 12/14/2012 at 1:41am<b>theimprobableone</b> - the 11/19/2012 at 12:07am<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/06/2012 at 12:27am

venomousddog's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of venomousddog's badges

venomousddog's favorite FMLs

Today, it's garbage day. My mom accidentally threw away a receipt she needed to return something and told me to go get it. While I was looking for it, a cop gave me hell for "stealing recyclables on private property." This all happened in my front lawn. FML

#20020707
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20671) - you deserved it (1535)

On 08/14/2012 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML

#20020549
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18794) - you deserved it (1533)

On 08/14/2012 at 12:14pm - health - by Todd - United States

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

#20014116
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30677) - you deserved it (2117)

On 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm - health - by dumbasdogshit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at work, I decided to make things more interesting, so when I called people I used a fake accent. As I was using an Australian accent, the person I was talking to asked me where in Australia I was from. I desperately replied, "Where the kangaroos are..." I'm now jobless. FML

#20011862
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6046) - you deserved it (34005)

On 08/09/2012 at 5:42pm - work - by sincerely depressed. - United States (California)

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

#20011677
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6432) - you deserved it (46787)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML

#20010086
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28129) - you deserved it (3385)

On 08/08/2012 at 7:03pm - love - by Dumbfounded - United States (Texas)

Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML

#20000538
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17093) - you deserved it (9607)

On 08/03/2012 at 3:28pm - misc - by squeltorey (man) - United States (California)

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38280) - you deserved it (8186)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

#19910380
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18576) - you deserved it (6722)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML

#19875784
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7507) - you deserved it (24077)

On 07/01/2012 at 11:59am - animals - by mommabuser -

Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML

#19853793
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7488) - you deserved it (32863)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by deli Shoppe - United States (California)

Today, in a drunken, depressed state I thought I heard my deceased mother trying to make contact with me from beyond the grave. It took me a moment to realise that the soft voice was from the music my neighbours were playing. FML

#19847673
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17341) - you deserved it (5622)

On 06/25/2012 at 10:59pm - misc - by hearingthings (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I laughed when I shouldn't have and am probably fired. What happened? My boss asked me if birds were reptiles. I thought he was kidding. FML

#19817734
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25158) - you deserved it (3124)

On 06/20/2012 at 8:46am - work - by notanidiot - United States (Michigan)

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML

#19743527
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35761) - you deserved it (5828)

On 06/06/2012 at 10:19am - misc - by Bishop (man) -

Today, I saw a picture of a dude on a Harley on my friend's wall. I asked her if it was Dog the bounty hunter. It wasn't, it was her aunt. FML



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