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venomousddog

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venomousddog
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 21 October 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 575
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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venomousddog's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

#20066447
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15044) - you deserved it (5321)

On 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm - work - by kevcng (man) - United States

Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML

Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML

#20057050
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21710) - you deserved it (977)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:53am - misc - by hooligyn123 - United States

Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML

#20049241
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29502) - you deserved it (1477)

On 08/30/2012 at 8:58am - misc - by Sarah - United States (New York)

Today, my car was towed for the second time in front of my own house. They tried to tell me it was because they didn't think I lived there anymore. The person who had it towed had just spoken to me not three hours before. FML

#20047754
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19378) - you deserved it (1166)

On 08/29/2012 at 11:01am - money - by drixxy - United States (California)

Today, I received a call from my future sister in-law, telling me that she and her future husband had decided to hold their wedding ceremony on my birthday. I was told not to celebrate my birthday, as it would "take away the attention to the true meaning of the day." FML

Today, my wife and I got in a 4-hour heated argument which resulted in her begging for a divorce and admitting that she cheated on me. This all started with us arguing about the instructions for our new IKEA table. FML

#20043524
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22364) - you deserved it (1567)

On 08/26/2012 at 10:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

#20043181
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20709) - you deserved it (2516)

On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

#20035075
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25985) - you deserved it (1473)

On 08/22/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to go down to the county police department to bail out my kids who thought it would be a good idea to try mugging an ice cream truck driver. FML

#20032351
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16532) - you deserved it (3621)

On 08/20/2012 at 6:02pm - kids - by Demetria (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after years of bad blood, my husband decided to invite his parents to dinner. After making rude remarks about my pregnancy, his dad eventually muttered that I'm a slut. My husband punched him, his wife called the police, and now I'm all alone while he sits in a jail cell for battery. FML

#20030486
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25327) - you deserved it (1450)

On 08/19/2012 at 7:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, it's garbage day. My mom accidentally threw away a receipt she needed to return something and told me to go get it. While I was looking for it, a cop gave me hell for "stealing recyclables on private property." This all happened in my front lawn. FML

#20020707
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17771) - you deserved it (1329)

On 08/14/2012 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML

#20020549
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16961) - you deserved it (1405)

On 08/14/2012 at 12:14pm - health - by Todd - United States

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

#20014116
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28003) - you deserved it (1928)

On 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm - health - by dumbasdogshit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at work, I decided to make things more interesting, so when I called people I used a fake accent. As I was using an Australian accent, the person I was talking to asked me where in Australia I was from. I desperately replied, "Where the kangaroos are..." I'm now jobless. FML

#20011862
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4374) - you deserved it (23374)

On 08/09/2012 at 5:42pm - work - by sincerely depressed. - United States (California)



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