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venomousddog's favorite FMLs
by Sniffles / 04/26/2014 at 8:28am / Ireland / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/11/2014 at 9:40pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML
by Brody89 / 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of pee all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML
by Anonymous / 04/05/2014 at 7:16pm / United States (Iowa) / Work
by Whatswrongwithme? / 11/03/2013 at 4:57am / United Kingdom / Love
Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by wasted_gas / 10/05/2013 at 12:00pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I had a job interview. All was going well until the interviewer asked me, "So, why should we hire you?" Without thinking, I blurted out, "Because, I'm awesome!" Don't think I'll be getting that one. FML
by strokesie / 07/03/2013 at 2:56am / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML
by irishbubble / 06/04/2013 at 8:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by ChangoFett / 05/26/2013 at 2:46am / United States (California) / Work