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venomousddog

Offline (the 08/26/2014 at 4:57am) | Search for a member

venomousddog

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 21 October 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 789
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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venomousddog's page activity

Visits<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 2:10pm<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 12:15pm<b>Elric97</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 4:31pm<b>KaneHunter</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:47am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 10:02am<b>cassieperiodbee</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 12:43pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 8:00pm<b>MagicGiraffe</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 1:39am<b>Elovena</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 5:50pm<b>Maddy9111</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 3:15pm<b>neeena94</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 8:31am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 3:55am<b>homeboyangst</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 10:09pm<b>chrissy2</b> - the 12/14/2012 at 1:41am<b>theimprobableone</b> - the 11/19/2012 at 12:07am<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/06/2012 at 12:27am

venomousddog's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of venomousddog's badges

venomousddog's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up at 4am to my mom's drunk boyfriend digging in the backyard, frantically muttering "Where the fuck is it?" When I went out and asked what was going on, he told me to get back inside or he'd dig a hole for me too. I'm beyond scared. FML

#21243776
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38349) - you deserved it (2746)

On 08/23/2014 at 12:44pm - misc - by wtf... (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

#21243310
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22082) - you deserved it (40975)

On 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML

#21243189
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20700) - you deserved it (35489)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42361) - you deserved it (3377)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML

#21168803
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46918) - you deserved it (3464)

On 06/09/2014 at 9:56pm - health - by Harry (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56325) - you deserved it (6795)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML

#21166627
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51564) - you deserved it (6765)

On 06/07/2014 at 11:22pm - misc - by Un1ucky (woman) - United States

Today, despite years of paranoid checking, I forgot to check my towel for spiders after my shower. Two crawled onto me, and I'm pretty sure there's one somewhere in my hair. FML

#21161379
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39955) - you deserved it (4921)

On 06/03/2014 at 4:56am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML

#21142903
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39105) - you deserved it (6446)

On 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by her mom raised her (man) - Mexico

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

#21142020
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41987) - you deserved it (8936)

On 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

#21137065
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51731) - you deserved it (7185)

On 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37812) - you deserved it (5581)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

#21132614
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42485) - you deserved it (3451)

On 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, to teach my 14-year-old son a serious lesson for bullying a child at school again, I grounded him for the rest of the year. He just snorted and said, "Cool, I'll just jack off all year then! Thanks, mum!" and happily retreated to his bedroom. FML

#21132433
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43091) - you deserved it (8253)

On 05/06/2014 at 2:38pm - kids - by Satan's Mum (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48594) - you deserved it (16259)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)



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