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venomousddog

Offline (the 08/27/2015 at 11:39pm) | Search for a member

venomousddog

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 21 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1374
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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venomousddog's page activity

Visits<b>sorainu</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 8:07am<b>KaneHunter</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 1:46pm<b>justino77</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 8:20am<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 12:18pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 6:29pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 2:10pm<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 12:15pm<b>Elric97</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 4:31pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 10:02am<b>cassieperiodbee</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 12:43pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 8:00pm<b>MagicGiraffe</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 1:39am<b>Elovena</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 5:50pm<b>Maddy9111</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 3:15pm<b>neeena94</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 8:31am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 3:55am<b>homeboyangst</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 10:09pm<b>chrissy2</b> - the 12/14/2012 at 1:41am

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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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venomousddog's favorite FMLs

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30413) - you deserved it (4047)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, I was out for a walk, wearing a T-shirt with a fist on it and the words "Bump it." A guy came up to me, looked at my shirt, shrugged, and punched me in the stomach. FML

#21424919
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24334) - you deserved it (10267)

On 06/12/2015 at 9:42am - health - by fisted (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

Today, I asked a passenger what he wanted to drink. When he said marijuana, I started making pot jokes. He really asked for mineral water. I was given a drug test when we landed. FML

#21269829
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31865) - you deserved it (11427)

On 10/02/2014 at 9:55pm - work - by stewardess - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

#21243310
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24979) - you deserved it (45200)

On 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML

#21243189
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23588) - you deserved it (40767)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45221) - you deserved it (3712)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML

#21168803
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49853) - you deserved it (3706)

On 06/09/2014 at 9:56pm - health - by Harry (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML

#21166627
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54228) - you deserved it (7082)

On 06/07/2014 at 11:22pm - misc - by Un1ucky (woman) - United States

Today, despite years of paranoid checking, I forgot to check my towel for spiders after my shower. Two crawled onto me, and I'm pretty sure there's one somewhere in my hair. FML

#21161379
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42834) - you deserved it (5261)

On 06/03/2014 at 4:56am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML

#21142903
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41385) - you deserved it (6738)

On 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by her mom raised her (man) - Mexico

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

#21137065
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52131) - you deserved it (7212)

On 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

#21132614
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44878) - you deserved it (3643)

On 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50943) - you deserved it (17143)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, during a boat trip with my boyfriend's family, I got seasick and went to the side of the boat to puke. A current rocked the boat so badly that I fell overboard, prompting a panicked rescue and my boyfriend's mom muttering that I'm a pathetic attention whore. FML

#21126339
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45454) - you deserved it (4798)

On 04/29/2014 at 3:13pm - misc - by have it your way - United States (New York)



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