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venom1576

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venom1576

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  • Number of visits : 152
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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venom1576's page activity

Visits<b>outoftown</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 10:36pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 10:15am

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venom1576's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML

#20130842
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7014) - you deserved it (46745)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

#19995628
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56634) - you deserved it (10361)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

#19788440
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49810) - you deserved it (3363)

On 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by aranya (man) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML

#19404370
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30329) - you deserved it (1976)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm - misc - by Eliza - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML

#19276451
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25941) - you deserved it (2311)

On 03/14/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by CierraJordan - United States (Utah)

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

#17470290
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26367) - you deserved it (9381)

On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34837) - you deserved it (9640)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML

#17004643
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39835) - you deserved it (10829)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84247) - you deserved it (223897)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
879 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60473) - you deserved it (634385)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
965 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73527) - you deserved it (429504)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)



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