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vendel

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vendel

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  • Number of visits : 1621
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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vendel's favorite FMLs

Today, the love of my life sent me a text saying "touch my pork". Somehow I don't think my feelings are mutual. FML

#9181615
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19485) - you deserved it (3758)

On 03/18/2010 at 6:24am - intimacy - by burgeee - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I took my girlfriend of five and a half years to family dinner at a restaurant. After we all had finished dessert, I got down on one knee, pulled out my great grandmother's ring and proposed. The entire restaurant was dead silent. She looked around and then slowly walked out. FML

#9157665
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68746) - you deserved it (5907)

On 03/17/2010 at 11:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I tried an herbal tea that is supposed to increase your milk supply (I'm a breastfeeding mom). Well, it worked, and it kicked in at my office, but only on one side. So when I went into the bathroom, I noticed I had one boob WAY higher and bigger than the other. Great. FML

#9156670
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26591) - you deserved it (4551)

On 03/17/2010 at 10:18am - work - by mama75 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized my girlfriend has way more friends than I do. How did I realize this? She called me to tell me she was at the beach with her friends and how much fun she was having. I was playing WoW in my room, and my friends don't answer my texts. FML

#9122950
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12296) - you deserved it (23112)

On 03/16/2010 at 1:12am - misc - by LonelyBoy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was so bored I googled the word "bored." The results were boring. FML

#9117281
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9087) - you deserved it (35476)

On 03/15/2010 at 10:27pm - misc - by hiii. (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML

#9097770
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18773) - you deserved it (3090)

On 03/15/2010 at 5:14am - intimacy - by shygurl434 - United States (Alaska)

Today, at the eye doctor, they asked for my birth date for the files. My dad answered quickly, "May 28, 1994." It was embarrassing to have to correct him with "April 19, 1993." Who's May 28? Way to go dad. FML

#8905388
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24151) - you deserved it (2025)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:12pm - misc - by leenibeani4 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43089) - you deserved it (9566)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML

#7353628
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30111) - you deserved it (3616)

On 01/15/2010 at 3:33am - love - by Romantic (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

#6989911
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83571) - you deserved it (4747)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML

#6718371
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19149) - you deserved it (3663)

On 12/12/2009 at 2:28am - intimacy - by Laura_2118 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got invited to a big upperclassmen party that underclassmen don't normally get invited to. I was feeling really good when I got there and saw that the girl I'm in love with was there. They stole my pants and gave me a swirly. Her reaction was to post pictures on Facebook. FML

#5633791
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32600) - you deserved it (5409)

On 10/04/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by wetandpantsless (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it would not go down the pipes. After about ten panic filled minutes, I notice the cat litter box. I carefully scoop out my logs, and bury them in the cat litter. FML

#5325654
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17490) - you deserved it (44203)

On 09/18/2009 at 12:29am - animals - by Poowee (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I took a look at my boyfriend's videocamera. On it were several videos of me on the toilet. My boyfriend has been hiding the videocamera in the bathroom airvent, and taping me taking dumps for the past three months. FML

#5097909
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70314) - you deserved it (4211)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was feeling sick and I farted so loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML

#4883657
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47264) - you deserved it (6292)

On 08/28/2009 at 2:30pm - health - by minnie (woman) - United States



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