vegas_jose

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vegas_jose

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vegas_jose
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 19 March 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1184
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About vegas_jose : I'll write something clever in here later.

vegas_jose's page activity

Visits<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 8:06am<b>NateC27</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 1:20pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 1:05pm<b>Alexxandre</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 5:29pm<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 10:26pm<b>AlexanderDavidd</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 11:08pm<b>carlosfaq</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 10:58pm<b>DMAN80182001</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 5:15am<b>Heaven121313</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 6:28pm<b>Abbbiiieeeeeeeee</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 10:01pm<b>Unionbay47</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 2:18pm<b>whyusofat</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 1:05am<b>staaacey</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 12:58am<b>octopussperm125</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 11:56pm<b>whitappleseed</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 10:43pm<b>holeyman</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 10:20pm<b>taytaysings97</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 9:02pm<b>GoodRichPope</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 6:37am

Fucked!<b>missa8604</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 5:23pm

vegas_jose's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of vegas_jose's badges

vegas_jose's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

by meltdowninrels / 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Love

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML

by Dancing King / 08/07/2014 at 11:36am / Norway (Rogaland) / Health

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while I was proposing. FML

by rejected / 07/28/2014 at 6:09pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML

by notpayedenoughforthisshit / 07/21/2014 at 5:15pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

by murrrrf / 07/21/2014 at 1:30am / United States (Missouri) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I tried to impress my boyfriend by slowly backing up and biting my lip to get him to come closer and kiss me. I ended up smacking the back of my head against a brick wall. FML

Today, after five years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. The words "just think of the tax breaks" were uttered. FML

by justthinkofyourhand / 07/13/2014 at 6:36pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 9:36pm / United States (Idaho) / Health

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

by oh my fucking god / 07/10/2014 at 9:34am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. After breaking the news to my parents, I heard my dad mutter when I left, "Damn it, I liked her better than him." My mother didn't protest. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2014 at 12:53am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, my shoes were rubbing against my heel so much that one heel started to bleed. Not having any plasters, I stuffed some tissue down my shoe. When I walked off the train, a wad of blood-stained tissue fell out the back of my shoe. The guy behind me didn't think it came from my shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2014 at 7:20pm / United Kingdom (Harrow) / Health