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vegas_jose

Offline (the 08/29/2014 at 8:24am) | Search for a member

vegas_jose

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 264
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About vegas_jose : I'll write something clever in here later.

vegas_jose's page activity

Visits<b>DMAN80182001</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 5:15am<b>Heaven121313</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 6:28pm<b>Abbbiiieeeeeeeee</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 10:01pm<b>Unionbay47</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 2:18pm<b>whyusofat</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 1:05am<b>staaacey</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 12:58am<b>octopussperm125</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 11:56pm<b>whitappleseed</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 10:43pm<b>holeyman</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 10:20pm<b>taytaysings97</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 9:02pm<b>GoodRichPope</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 6:37am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 3:33am<b>Rallred32</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 12:19am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 3:20am<b>amylynn1818</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 12:25am<b>allThatallDay</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 8:05pm<b>WhiteCrimson</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 10:46pm<b>emirie</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 10:46pm

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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vegas_jose's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46163) - you deserved it (7632)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

#21238375
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44380) - you deserved it (4585)

On 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by meltdowninrels (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

#21235982
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40455) - you deserved it (9241)

On 08/12/2014 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML

#21231691
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26356) - you deserved it (37988)

On 08/07/2014 at 11:36am - health - by Dancing King (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while I was proposing. FML

#21223358
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52391) - you deserved it (7183)

On 07/28/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by rejected - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56569) - you deserved it (41759)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML

#21216504
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36747) - you deserved it (3120)

On 07/21/2014 at 5:15pm - work - by notpayedenoughforthisshit (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

Today, I tried to impress my boyfriend by slowly backing up and biting my lip to get him to come closer and kiss me. I ended up smacking the back of my head against a brick wall. FML

Today, after five years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. The words "just think of the tax breaks" were uttered. FML

#21208167
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40127) - you deserved it (4255)

On 07/13/2014 at 6:36pm - love - by justthinkofyourhand - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML

#21206411
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44190) - you deserved it (4218)

On 07/11/2014 at 9:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

#21205080
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49174) - you deserved it (4741)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46641) - you deserved it (8160)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. After breaking the news to my parents, I heard my dad mutter when I left, "Damn it, I liked her better than him." My mother didn't protest. FML

#21196912
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50926) - you deserved it (11867)

On 07/03/2014 at 12:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my shoes were rubbing against my heel so much that one heel started to bleed. Not having any plasters, I stuffed some tissue down my shoe. When I walked off the train, a wad of blood-stained tissue fell out the back of my shoe. The guy behind me didn't think it came from my shoe. FML

#21196551
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39866) - you deserved it (4819)

On 07/02/2014 at 7:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Harrow)



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