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vegas_jose

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vegas_jose

0Fucked!

vegas_jose
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 19 March 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 601
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About vegas_jose : I'll write something clever in here later.

vegas_jose's page activity

Visits<b>AlexanderDavidd</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 11:08pm<b>carlosfaq</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 10:58pm<b>DMAN80182001</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 5:15am<b>Heaven121313</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 6:28pm<b>Abbbiiieeeeeeeee</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 10:01pm<b>Unionbay47</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 2:18pm<b>whyusofat</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 1:05am<b>staaacey</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 12:58am<b>octopussperm125</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 11:56pm<b>whitappleseed</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 10:43pm<b>holeyman</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 10:20pm<b>taytaysings97</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 9:02pm<b>GoodRichPope</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 6:37am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 3:33am<b>Rallred32</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 12:19am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 3:20am<b>amylynn1818</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 12:25am<b>allThatallDay</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 8:05pm

vegas_jose's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of vegas_jose's badges

vegas_jose's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52050) - you deserved it (9407)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

#21238375
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46407) - you deserved it (4805)

On 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by meltdowninrels (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

#21235982
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45797) - you deserved it (11096)

On 08/12/2014 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML

#21231691
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28147) - you deserved it (40636)

On 08/07/2014 at 11:36am - health - by Dancing King (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while I was proposing. FML

#21223358
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55218) - you deserved it (7553)

On 07/28/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by rejected - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60413) - you deserved it (43662)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML

#21216504
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38168) - you deserved it (3249)

On 07/21/2014 at 5:15pm - work - by notpayedenoughforthisshit (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

Today, I tried to impress my boyfriend by slowly backing up and biting my lip to get him to come closer and kiss me. I ended up smacking the back of my head against a brick wall. FML

Today, after five years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. The words "just think of the tax breaks" were uttered. FML

#21208167
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43208) - you deserved it (4752)

On 07/13/2014 at 6:36pm - love - by justthinkofyourhand - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML

#21206411
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47034) - you deserved it (4575)

On 07/11/2014 at 9:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

#21205080
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51649) - you deserved it (5109)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49689) - you deserved it (8729)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. After breaking the news to my parents, I heard my dad mutter when I left, "Damn it, I liked her better than him." My mother didn't protest. FML

#21196912
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54210) - you deserved it (12794)

On 07/03/2014 at 12:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my shoes were rubbing against my heel so much that one heel started to bleed. Not having any plasters, I stuffed some tissue down my shoe. When I walked off the train, a wad of blood-stained tissue fell out the back of my shoe. The guy behind me didn't think it came from my shoe. FML

#21196551
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42441) - you deserved it (5150)

On 07/02/2014 at 7:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Harrow)



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