Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

vegas_jose

Offline (the 12/31/2013 at 10:25am) | Search for a member

vegas_jose

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 177
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About vegas_jose : I'll write something clever in here later.

vegas_jose's page activity

Visits<b>DMAN80182001</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 5:15am<b>Heaven121313</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 6:28pm<b>Abbbiiieeeeeeeee</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 10:01pm<b>Unionbay47</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 2:18pm<b>whyusofat</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 1:05am<b>staaacey</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 12:58am<b>octopussperm125</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 11:56pm<b>whitappleseed</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 10:43pm<b>holeyman</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 10:20pm<b>taytaysings97</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 9:02pm<b>GoodRichPope</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 6:37am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 3:33am<b>Rallred32</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 12:19am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 3:20am<b>amylynn1818</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 12:25am<b>allThatallDay</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 8:05pm<b>WhiteCrimson</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 10:46pm<b>emirie</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 10:46pm

vegas_jose's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of vegas_jose's badges

vegas_jose's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while I was proposing. FML

#21223358
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43478) - you deserved it (5874)

On 07/28/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by rejected - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53120) - you deserved it (40624)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML

#21216504
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35186) - you deserved it (2880)

On 07/21/2014 at 5:15pm - work - by notpayedenoughforthisshit (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

Today, I tried to impress my boyfriend by slowly backing up and biting my lip to get him to come closer and kiss me. I ended up smacking the back of my head against a brick wall. FML

Today, after five years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. The words "just think of the tax breaks" were uttered. FML

#21208167
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39420) - you deserved it (4225)

On 07/13/2014 at 6:36pm - love - by justthinkofyourhand - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML

#21206411
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43857) - you deserved it (4193)

On 07/11/2014 at 9:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

#21205080
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48446) - you deserved it (4717)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45770) - you deserved it (7869)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. After breaking the news to my parents, I heard my dad mutter when I left, "Damn it, I liked her better than him." My mother didn't protest. FML

#21196912
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50454) - you deserved it (11807)

On 07/03/2014 at 12:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my shoes were rubbing against my heel so much that one heel started to bleed. Not having any plasters, I stuffed some tissue down my shoe. When I walked off the train, a wad of blood-stained tissue fell out the back of my shoe. The guy behind me didn't think it came from my shoe. FML

#21196551
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39700) - you deserved it (4809)

On 07/02/2014 at 7:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Harrow)

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59652) - you deserved it (4614)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, two months after forgiving my girlfriend for breaking my heart by cheating on me, I found out that she's cheating again with the same guy. When I confronted her, she basically said I brought it on myself and that I was an idiot for not dumping her the first time. FML

#21191426
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42509) - you deserved it (22938)

On 06/28/2014 at 11:48am - love - by lovegame (man) - Singapore

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54819) - you deserved it (7691)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I got called a slut. I don't know what is worse, the fact I was called it or that I felt strangely flattered that the person thought I was getting any. FML



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: