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veebiter

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veebiter
  • Town/Country : San Diego, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 271
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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veebiter's favorite FMLs

Today, the gas company came to connect our stove for free. While here, they broke our hot water heater, shut it off, and issued us a hazard notice. We can fix it, but they won't be able to come back for another two weeks to turn the gas back on. We don't have any hot water until then. FML

#20072391
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14793) - you deserved it (887)

On 09/15/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML

#15858919
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41443) - you deserved it (9837)

On 04/20/2011 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

#15817034
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40476) - you deserved it (7980)

On 04/17/2011 at 1:56am - intimacy - by rastafarimon (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend does not stop by my apartment to give me a kiss between classes. He is actually stopping by between his classes to steal my condoms because he is too cheap to pay for them when he cheats on me. FML

#15740141
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54170) - you deserved it (4055)

On 04/11/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Carmen - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43624) - you deserved it (13069)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML

#15555726
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32487) - you deserved it (7713)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66912) - you deserved it (9318)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52821) - you deserved it (26716)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML

#15500038
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43138) - you deserved it (7045)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Thatslife (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
693 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67726) - you deserved it (14663)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML

#15379416
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51193) - you deserved it (7591)

On 03/19/2011 at 6:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104486) - you deserved it (14018)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (130430) - you deserved it (8969)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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