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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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vdog413

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vdog413
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 285
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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vdog413's favorite FMLs

Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML

#4774290 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (21921) - you deserved it (13073)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by bobuhbeartoe (man) - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep in class during a boring economics lecture. I heard a whisper say "Rise and shine sleeping beauty." I thought it was my boyfriend, so i responded "Baby, what time is it? When is this F*ing class going to be over!?" it wasnt my boyfriend talking, it was my teacher. FML

#437815 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (10437) - you deserved it (59230)

On 03/18/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year and I were discussing how neither of us is the other's usual 'type'. I explained that I usually go for insular asshole types and then asked him what made me different from his usual choices. He said 'Oh, well, I usually go for the attractive ones.' FML

#436002 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (56332) - you deserved it (7952)

On 03/18/2009 at 8:35am - misc - by aphre - United Kingdom (North Down)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebees for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked "How was it?" he says "It was terrible", to which I said "The food was that bad?" He replies "No, the sex". FML

#431427 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (71902) - you deserved it (9249)

On 03/18/2009 at 12:35am - intimacy - by JC12345 (woman) - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

#415809 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (82867) - you deserved it (35686)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by MrAwsum (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (106305) - you deserved it (27039)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex at his house. When we got there, he checked his mail box first and noticed that his Wii game arrived. He sent me home so he can play. FML

#381498 (238)

I agree, your life sucks (119908) - you deserved it (15042)

On 03/16/2009 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by gfg (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML

#379230 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (97506) - you deserved it (27261)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by asleepinclass (woman) - Poland (Warszawa)

Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML

#360907 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (62285) - you deserved it (12415)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by hala (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

#242557 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (42625) - you deserved it (8218)

On 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm - kids - by nutsucker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

#234103 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (46450) - you deserved it (14410)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm - kids - by Dang-ItsDanielle (woman) - United States (California)



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