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vde

Offline (the 07/25/2014 at 3:04pm) | Search for a member

vde

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2365
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About vde : If you you want to know something you can ask always, although I keep the right not to answer if I concider your question inappropriate. :_)

vde's page activity

Visits<b>swick25</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 9:43am<b>SplusK</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 5:55am<b>Bentonic</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 12:32am<b>thathappened12</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 10:51pm<b>Mickinly</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 4:44am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 4:59pm<b>brianaduhh</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 2:27pm<b>perdix</b> - the 11/15/2011 at 12:19pm

vde's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of vde's badges

vde's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62054) - you deserved it (4795)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42044) - you deserved it (3369)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44165) - you deserved it (7052)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

#21199181
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49084) - you deserved it (4645)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got written up for drinking on the job by a manager who drinks on the job, who was told to write me up by a general manager who drinks on the job, and we are all employed by an owner who drinks on the job. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks. FML

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54369) - you deserved it (7684)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my daughter used her spare key to get into my house while I was at work, then took and pawned off all of my jewelry. She only confessed when I confronted her with video camera footage. Her defense was that I told her I'd leave her everything in my will. Honey, I'm not dead yet. FML

#21159292
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45690) - you deserved it (4710)

On 06/01/2014 at 12:36pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I collected my students' final essays. One of them submitted a printout of a screenshot he took with his phone. Too bad a browser address bar was still in the shot, along with a "click to read more" link at the bottom. My students are too dumb and lazy to even plagiarize properly. FML

#21148317
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42397) - you deserved it (4393)

On 05/22/2014 at 12:47pm - work - by What am I doing with my life? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40973) - you deserved it (15292)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I moved into my new house. The previous occupants failed to tell me that they'd recently kicked out their crazy crackhead son, who seems to think they've paid me to pretend that they've moved out and that I'm the new owner. He wants back in. FML

#21136773
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42175) - you deserved it (3240)

On 05/11/2014 at 3:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a customer cussed me out for hiding behind the counter a jacket she's been "eyeing since it came out". She loudly exclaimed that she was going to report me to my manager and get me "fired." It was my personal jacket that we don't even sell. FML

Today, my store manager told me I was fired. I'm not sure what's more insulting - that he'd fire me, or that he forgot I haven't worked there in four months. FML

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63379) - you deserved it (8077)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spent an hour explaining to a college student how you could have a baby and not be married. He still doesn't get it. FML

#21131094
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40736) - you deserved it (4123)

On 05/05/2014 at 1:07am - misc - by melmel (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

#21130490
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40611) - you deserved it (10273)

On 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm - health - by Numbass123 (man) - United States (Nevada)



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