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vde

Offline (the 02/08/2016 at 3:40pm) | Search for a member

vde

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4638
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About vde : If you you want to know something you can ask always, although I keep the right not to answer if I concider your question inappropriate. :_)

vde's page activity

Visits<b>swick25</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 9:43am<b>SplusK</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 5:55am<b>Bentonic</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 12:32am<b>thathappened12</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 10:51pm<b>Mickinly</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 4:44am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 4:59pm<b>brianaduhh</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 2:27pm<b>perdix</b> - the 11/15/2011 at 12:19pm

vde's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of vde's badges

vde's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally walked in on my sister shaving, naked. I don't know what's worse, the fact I've now seen her nude, or that she looks ten times better than any girl I've ever slept with. FML

#21521379
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23155) - you deserved it (5043)

On 01/31/2016 at 4:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out my family refers to my room as "the virgin cave". FML

#21518755
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21518) - you deserved it (2569)

On 01/24/2016 at 12:40am - misc - by Dexter_39476 (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML

#21496296
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25805) - you deserved it (2671)

On 11/24/2015 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Zug)

Today, as I snuck downstairs for a midnight movie, I witnessed my dad "polishing his wand" to Harry Potter porn in the living room. FML

#21482519
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28217) - you deserved it (3448)

On 10/21/2015 at 8:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, I received a call from my wife. It would've been great if she hadn't left on a business trip 3 years ago. FML

#21467934
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27208) - you deserved it (1487)

On 09/13/2015 at 10:22am - love - by TheLoneSoul - France

Today, the girl I like at work surprised me in the otherwise empty break room. She caught me taking part in what might as well have been the Ball-Scratching Olympics. I didn't notice she was behind me until she cleared her throat to get my attention. Shit. FML

#21465088
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20227) - you deserved it (12323)

On 09/06/2015 at 12:55am - misc - by ballthlete (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out my babysitter has been selling the breastmilk I produce for my baby and replacing it with formula, while still taking my money every week. FML

#21453691
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29749) - you deserved it (2194)

On 08/08/2015 at 11:53pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at work, the girl I've been into for the past 6 months confessed that she liked me, but also confessed she had sex with our boss. Our boss happens to be my dad. FML

#21452615
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27815) - you deserved it (1718)

On 08/06/2015 at 4:33am - work - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boss for a promotion. "You don't work here but I can give you a job application." I've been working here for 8 years. FML

#21448654
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26935) - you deserved it (1966)

On 07/28/2015 at 4:44pm - work - by Application - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was reading a picture storybook to a kindergarten kid. She could pronounce more words than me, and corrected me. I'm about triple her age. FML

#21445328
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15025) - you deserved it (25199)

On 07/22/2015 at 2:32am - kids - by thebiteof87 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32828) - you deserved it (2371)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, as my mom was getting ready for a date, I told her that I think it's too early for her to date, since she divorced my dad only a week ago. She then said, "Don't worry, I'm only in it for sex." FML

#21430672
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27489) - you deserved it (4162)

On 06/23/2015 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after parking in the handicapped spot of a lot with my placard, an older couple with their 7-year-old grandchild came up and yelled at me for being a lying asshole and taking the parking spot. When I showed them my prosthetic leg, the kid started crying and guess who got yelled at again. FML

#21430208
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31106) - you deserved it (1466)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:46pm - health - by ICanExplain - United States (California)

Today, I caught my mother-in-law trying to plant a GPS tracker on my car. FML

#21428876
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28073) - you deserved it (1995)

On 06/20/2015 at 1:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to take my daughter to the ER. Her brother had bet she couldn't go the whole day without talking. So to win the bet, she tried to super-glue her lips together so she couldn't accidentally say anything. FML



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