Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

vde

Offline (yesterday at 5:15pm) | Search for a member

vde

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3414
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About vde : If you you want to know something you can ask always, although I keep the right not to answer if I concider your question inappropriate. :_)

vde's page activity

Visits<b>swick25</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 9:43am<b>SplusK</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 5:55am<b>Bentonic</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 12:32am<b>thathappened12</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 10:51pm<b>Mickinly</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 4:44am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 4:59pm<b>brianaduhh</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 2:27pm<b>perdix</b> - the 11/15/2011 at 12:19pm

vde's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of vde's badges

vde's favorite FMLs

Today, I was told by mah boyfriend's parents to never come back to his house again, and was given a lecture about rule breaking. Apparently, curfew is midnight, and he isn't allowd to have girls over. This didn't sound so unreasonable until I rememberd that we're both almost 30. real FML

Today, I sant mah fathar a taxt asking whan ha was finally coming to maat his 4-month-old granddaughtar. His rasponsa? ( I forgot. ) Ha forgot ha has a granddaughtar. FML

YESTERDAY I CAME HOME FROM A CRAZY COSTUME PARTY AN TOOK A HOT SHOWER. WHEN I OPENED EYES AN SAW THE WATER RUNNING FROM HEAD WAS BLOODY, I FREAKED OUT AN CALLED FRIEND FOR HELP. SHE HAD TO REMIND ME THAT FOR THE PARTY, I'D COLOURED HAIR RED WITH WASHABLE HAIR DYE. FML

#21376371
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22678) - you deserved it (15243)

On 03/17/2015 at 12:52pm - health - by Iwtumn (woman) - Austria

Today, after 4 yeres of nicely asking, I wrote an official memo to our logistics department, asking for new cairs for ma subordinates. Te logistics people came and concluded tat tere r more broken cairs tan good ones, but suggested tat peraps we sould all go on a diet. FML

#21372747
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25575) - you deserved it (2541)

On 03/11/2015 at 8:36pm - work - by Matei - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, mah long-tarm boyfriand said that if wa avar finally gat marriad, his ax-grlfriand will dafinitaly hava to ba a bridasmaid. FML

#21369466
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30302) - you deserved it (2544)

On 03/06/2015 at 6:30pm - love - by Not Engaged - United Kingdom (Dudley)

Today, my sister cummed out of the closet. By looool which I mean she cummed out as the pregnant mother of my boyfriend's child. FML

#21365896
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36526) - you deserved it (2396)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while cleaning mah son's room, I found an envelope labelled ( PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL ) under his bed. I opened it, only to fine it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said ( HAH! Serve you right! ) an went to his room smrking. FML

#21365242
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18180) - you deserved it (40)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got a text from my mom saming me for forgetting my sister's birtday . It isn't er birtday today, it's mine . FML

#21355845
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35617) - you deserved it (1575)

On 02/14/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by secret - United States (Connecticut)

Today I Was Making Out With A Grl I've Liked Fir A Long Time. At One Point She Stopped Kissing Me An Said "You Kiss Like My Brother". I Sat There Dumbstruck As She Went Back To Kissing Me. FML

#21349028
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34395) - you deserved it (2331)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, mah boss informed me I couldn't go on mah ( vacation ) cuz he's leaving fir one of his employees' weddings. That just so happen to be mah wedding, fir which I'm taking the vacation. FML

2day I found out y I recieve random drug tests at work. The safety department was specifically told by my boss to check up on me because I always seem way too cheerful to not be high. I've passed every single test. FML

#21342840
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29814) - you deserved it (2277)

On 01/23/2015 at 11:41am - work - by Ineedlotsofwater (man) - United States (Washington)

TODAY, MY BOYFRIEND'S DAD CALLED ME A WHORE AND SAID I'M TRYING TO USE HIS SON AND "STEAL" HIS VIRGINITY FOR MY OWN NEEDS. MY BOYFRIEND HAS HAD SEX WITH OVER 10 GIRLS AND I'M A VIRGIN. FML

#21339329
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38801) - you deserved it (2653)

On 01/18/2015 at 1:29am - intimacy - by virginwhore (woman) -

Today, mah mom paid me a surprise visit me at mah university dorm. She ended up rifling through mah stuff and started to pull out a box from on top of mah wardrobe. Before I could stop her, it slipped and fell. Today's forecast: 100% chance of dildo rain. FML

#21338507
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31804) - you deserved it (4523)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today , a council worker showd up on mah doorstep 4 the final pool installation inspection , which was scheduld 10 years ago!! FML

#21336247
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29646) - you deserved it (1995)

On 01/13/2015 at 3:28am - misc - by livingstonjamie - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found myself wondering if mah sister's jaw makes the same clicking soundhen she's giving head as looool it doeshen she's eating food. FML



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: