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vde

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vde

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3990
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About vde : If you you want to know something you can ask always, although I keep the right not to answer if I concider your question inappropriate. :_)

vde's page activity

Visits<b>swick25</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 9:43am<b>SplusK</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 5:55am<b>Bentonic</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 12:32am<b>thathappened12</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 10:51pm<b>Mickinly</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 4:44am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 4:59pm<b>brianaduhh</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 2:27pm<b>perdix</b> - the 11/15/2011 at 12:19pm

vde's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of vde's badges

vde's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my boss for a promotion. "You don't work here but I can give you a job application." I've been working here for 8 years. FML

#21448654
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4734) - you deserved it (364)

On 07/28/2015 at 4:44pm - work - by Application - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was reading a picture storybook to a kindergarten kid. She could pronounce more words than me, and corrected me. I'm about triple her age. FML

#21445328
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13868) - you deserved it (23322)

On 07/22/2015 at 2:32am - kids - by thebiteof87 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31308) - you deserved it (2151)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, as my mom was getting ready for a date, I told her that I think it's too early for her to date, since she divorced my dad only a week ago. She then said, "Don't worry, I'm only in it for sex." FML

#21430672
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26118) - you deserved it (3786)

On 06/23/2015 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after parking in the handicapped spot of a lot with my placard, an older couple with their 7-year-old grandchild came up and yelled at me for being a lying asshole and taking the parking spot. When I showed them my prosthetic leg, the kid started crying and guess who got yelled at again. FML

#21430208
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29588) - you deserved it (1261)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:46pm - health - by ICanExplain - United States (California)

Today, I caught my mother-in-law trying to plant a GPS tracker on my car. FML

#21428876
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26679) - you deserved it (1781)

On 06/20/2015 at 1:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to take my daughter to the ER. Her brother had bet she couldn't go the whole day without talking. So to win the bet, she tried to super-glue her lips together so she couldn't accidentally say anything. FML

Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML

#21427606
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30132) - you deserved it (8560)

On 06/17/2015 at 2:09pm - kids - by RecentCollegeGrad (woman) -

Today, my wife came back from her camping trip with her friends. I decided to help her out by unpacking her stuff while she used the bathroom. It's funny; I never knew that a dildo, a ball gag and an open pack of condoms were considered camping gear. FML

#21427521
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35970) - you deserved it (2582)

On 06/17/2015 at 10:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my neighbor's son siphoned the fuel out of my lawn mower and put it in his car. What he didn't realize is that the fuel mixture I use in my lawn mower would ruin his car engine. His dad says it's my fault and actually insists I should pay his pissant son's repair bill. FML

#21425373
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33669) - you deserved it (1695)

On 06/13/2015 at 8:42am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was rear-ended. While I was yelling, "WHAT THE F..." the lady who hit me completely freaked out and drove into me again. Twice. FML

#21425087
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25947) - you deserved it (2042)

On 06/12/2015 at 5:09pm - misc - by BrakesNotBumpers (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

#21420563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30427) - you deserved it (3320)

On 06/04/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I asked my classmate to look over my essay. His comments were longer than the essay itself. FML

#21398217
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24544) - you deserved it (4980)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:53pm - misc - by englishornah (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

#21397883
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42148) - you deserved it (2841)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I thought my dad was finally showing interest in the business I started last year when he asked about my next event. Nope, he just wanted to know if I would hire his step-granddaughter. Her first question: "So, I won't have to do any like, real work right?" Gee, thanks Dad. FML

#21393221
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26258) - you deserved it (1904)

On 04/13/2015 at 9:50pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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