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vb68's FML badges
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vb68's favorite FMLs
Today, during an exam, the guy next to me tried to cheat by looking at my test but was caught by the proctor. His defense was that no one would ever cheat off me. The proctor agreed and allowed him to finish the test. FML
by Speechless / 03/18/2015 at 4:37am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ohno / 03/17/2015 at 4:35pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the grocery store with my four-year-old. She has some issues with wetting the bed, so I told her that if she wasn't sure if she was dreaming about "going", she should pinch herself to make sure she's awake. In the produce section, she pinched herself, smiled proudly, and peed. FML
by Anonymous / 03/15/2015 at 12:23am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, I received a phone call from the counselor at my son's preschool, requesting that I come pick him up. He was barking incessantly at his classmates. And when they asked him to stop, he growled. FML
by misfitunfit / 03/12/2015 at 4:50pm / United States (California) / Kids
by birdisnottheword / 03/11/2015 at 9:55am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by generic_name123 / 03/09/2015 at 9:55am / United States (District of Columbia) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/09/2015 at 8:15am / Australia (Victoria) / Health
Today, I watched in horror from the doorway as my brother furiously scratched at his greasy hair and ate the large flakes of dead skin that came loose from his scalp. I think our real dad might be caged in a zoo somewhere. FML
by GROSS / 03/07/2015 at 10:58am / Bangladesh / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I noticed that my son was less excited about losing a tooth than normal. I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Tyler told me that the tooth fairy died yesterday in a car accident." To which Tyler replied, "You're welcome." FML
by Mommycakes / 03/03/2015 at 8:14am / United States (Arizona) / Kids
Today, I moved to a big city, alone, from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't that scary, I hailed my first cab. The driver spent the 30 minute ride from the airport telling me about how "sometimes, you just gotta shoot a guy" because if they steal your shoes, they deserve it. FML
by smalltownkid / 03/01/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML
by love and tolerape, apparently / 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm / India (Jharkhand) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/01/2015 at 2:03pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/01/2015 at 1:59pm / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Love
Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids