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vb68's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
vb68's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend tried to claim it was my fault that he cheated on me, all because I "deprived" him of sex for two weeks last month when I went on a family vacation. If his mental gymnastics were physical, I swear he'd be able to suck his own cock. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2015 at 1:35pm / United States (New York) / Love
by jobless and broke / 07/29/2015 at 2:40pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by Razz / 07/15/2015 at 6:02pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, while walking alone through a sketchy neighbourhood after a party, I learned that I look too broke to even rob and "not worth the bother". Overhead from a guy waiting for me in a bush with a flashlight and his equally charming friend. FML
by ramherr / 07/13/2015 at 8:30pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Miscellaneous
by brichard22 / 07/12/2015 at 10:25am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was late for work, so I grabbed my handbag, my sports bag and ran out. The bus arrived at the stop just as I did, so I hopped on and sat down, trying to catch my breath. I dumped my bags onto my knees and looked down to see my cat, staring back at me from inside my sports bag. FML
by matou / 07/09/2015 at 4:41pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Transportation
Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years a few months ago, my boys convinced me to go out with the cute girl I had been talking to on Tinder. However, she wasn't cute, or a girl. He robbed me. FML
by Anonymous / 07/09/2015 at 3:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by who_cares / 07/09/2015 at 7:20am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, as my mom was getting ready for a date, I told her that I think it's too early for her to date, since she divorced my dad only a week ago. She then said, "Don't worry, I'm only in it for sex." FML
by Anonymous / 06/23/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked outside to get the paper, and saw a dying bird I assumed had flown into the window. It was warm so I thought it might still be alive. I wasn't wearing my glasses though, and was trying to nurse a dog turd back to life. FML
by nerderer / 06/04/2015 at 10:17pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals
by Zufallian / 06/02/2015 at 8:55pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by IrNatalie / 06/02/2015 at 4:59am / United States (Arizona) / Work
by TooLoud / 05/30/2015 at 8:12pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I got into a heated argument with my girlfriend. Not because of anything I did, but because she actually believes that pasteurization is when a pastor blesses a dairy product. "You know, like kosher." FML
by Anonymous / 05/26/2015 at 11:12am / United States (California) / Love
- Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily.… Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than… Today, while having some "personal" time, I felt intense pleasure and moaned. I learned that my own…
- Today, is my first day of recovery in a full right arm cast. Broke it on the last possible free day… Today, my bed broke down in the middle. My crush offered to fix it for me, but I can't have people… Today, while showing a group of guys my heavy bag routine at the gym, I attempted to perform a high…