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vb68's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
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vb68's favorite FMLs
Today, after working 8 hours and immediately packing my house for another 6 hours to prepare for moving, I was extremely exhausted and more than ready to brush my teeth and go to bed. I tiredly brushed my teeth with my mascara. FML
by morethanablondemoment / 08/28/2015 at 12:40am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Mush / 08/27/2015 at 12:42pm / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Miscellaneous
by whovian221b / 08/25/2015 at 6:46pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 08/25/2015 at 3:54pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, a fifth grader gave me a note from his "father" excusing him from PE. It was riddled with spelling errors and shockingly poor grammar, so I rejected it as a blatant fake. Several hours later, I was informed by his very angry father that it wasn't actually fake. FML
by shit.jpg / 08/25/2015 at 3:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/25/2015 at 2:31pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I said I wouldn't find her attractive in 20 years. What I actually said was that I wouldn't sleep with her mother now, who happens to be 20 years older than her. FML
by Shelling Ford / 08/25/2015 at 7:55am / Germany (Bayern) / Love
Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML
by catlady / 08/24/2015 at 11:16pm / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML
by SilentSin / 08/24/2015 at 10:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
Today, my husband and I locked our keys in the car. Our only spare is in the drawer with all our sex toys. So we either had to get our oldest go in the drawer and get them to bring to us or walk the 12 miles home. My feet will never recover from that walk. FML
by Anonymous / 08/24/2015 at 12:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by SebastianCT / 08/19/2015 at 1:44pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad called to wish me a happy birthday. I said thank you but informed him that my birthday is tomorrow. He told me that I was wrong and screamed at me for 20 minutes. When I still wouldn't agree with him, he hung up and turned my phone service off. FML
by InterestingMuch / 08/18/2015 at 10:48am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/18/2015 at 9:26am / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy
by IceWrath / 08/16/2015 at 4:14am / United Kingdom (York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend tried to claim it was my fault that he cheated on me, all because I "deprived" him of sex for two weeks last month when I went on a family vacation. If his mental gymnastics were physical, I swear he'd be able to suck his own cock. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2015 at 1:35pm / United States (New York) / Love