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vb68's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
vb68's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/18/2015 at 1:00pm / United States (Florida) / Money
Today, my husband finally admitted that he squandered the last three months of my share of the rent on booze. He then blamed me, demanded more money, asked for a divorce, and stormed out. When he returned he asked, "How am I the bad guy?" FML
by Anonymous / 10/15/2015 at 8:57pm / United States (Kansas) / Love
Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their tongues out, snort, and garble at female goats in heat. Now he's doing it to me at all manner of times, sound effects and all. I now know why goats ram their heads into things repeatedly. FML
by StillnothowIimaginedmydaygoing / 10/14/2015 at 12:22pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
Today, my son told me that he doesn't need to go to school because he doesn't need a job. It turns out he plans to get a life sentence in prison and live the rest of his life at the taxpayers' expense. FML
by Anonymous / 10/11/2015 at 12:20am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/30/2015 at 11:08am / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Love
by erphy21 / 09/26/2015 at 4:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/25/2015 at 10:36pm / Australia / Love
by whatdidimarry / 09/24/2015 at 7:31pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/23/2015 at 9:21pm / Canada / Money
Today, I got an angry call from my 7-year-old son's school. It turned out that while doing a "what I want to be when I'm older" assignment, he wrote that he wants to be an internet troll so he can make people mad and make them kill themselves. FML
by Anonymous / 09/23/2015 at 11:48am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, my brother told me that he needed to borrow a hammer, a chisel, and a drill just in case. I asked him if he was finally getting round to starting work on his apartment. Not at all, he was just going to crack open the coconut he'd just bought at the supermarket. FML
by caisse à outs / 09/22/2015 at 9:06pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Love
Today, there was a big party at my workplace. The only person that was socializing with me in any way was my co-workers 4-year-old daughter. Before leaving, she drew smiley faces on plastic plates and napkins and gave them to me so I "will have some friends and not be all alone". FML
by ForeverAlone / 09/22/2015 at 5:40pm / Ukraine / Miscellaneous
Today, I got hit by a USPS truck. Luckily, I have car insurance. Just kidding. My insurance got cancelled two days ago for lack of responding to letters they sent. Letters that the USPS didn't deliver. FML
by lentkaysi / 09/10/2015 at 6:55pm / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, I caught two kids passing notes to each other in my class, so I told them to see me afterwards. When one of the kids eventually came up, I noticed he was crying. He looked up at me and sobbed out, "I was trying to make my first friend!" FML
by Anonymous / 09/06/2015 at 4:11pm / United States (California) / Intimacy