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vb68's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
vb68's favorite FMLs
Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML
by SilentSin / 08/24/2015 at 10:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
Today, my husband and I locked our keys in the car. Our only spare is in the drawer with all our sex toys. So we either had to get our oldest go in the drawer and get them to bring to us or walk the 12 miles home. My feet will never recover from that walk. FML
by Anonymous / 08/24/2015 at 12:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by SebastianCT / 08/19/2015 at 1:44pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad called to wish me a happy birthday. I said thank you but informed him that my birthday is tomorrow. He told me that I was wrong and screamed at me for 20 minutes. When I still wouldn't agree with him, he hung up and turned my phone service off. FML
by InterestingMuch / 08/18/2015 at 10:48am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/18/2015 at 9:26am / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy
by IceWrath / 08/16/2015 at 4:14am / United Kingdom (York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend tried to claim it was my fault that he cheated on me, all because I "deprived" him of sex for two weeks last month when I went on a family vacation. If his mental gymnastics were physical, I swear he'd be able to suck his own cock. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2015 at 1:35pm / United States (New York) / Love
by jobless and broke / 07/29/2015 at 2:40pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by Razz / 07/15/2015 at 6:02pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, while walking alone through a sketchy neighbourhood after a party, I learned that I look too broke to even rob and "not worth the bother". Overhead from a guy waiting for me in a bush with a flashlight and his equally charming friend. FML
by ramherr / 07/13/2015 at 8:30pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Miscellaneous
by brichard22 / 07/12/2015 at 10:25am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was late for work, so I grabbed my handbag, my sports bag and ran out. The bus arrived at the stop just as I did, so I hopped on and sat down, trying to catch my breath. I dumped my bags onto my knees and looked down to see my cat, staring back at me from inside my sports bag. FML
by matou / 07/09/2015 at 4:41pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Transportation
Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years a few months ago, my boys convinced me to go out with the cute girl I had been talking to on Tinder. However, she wasn't cute, or a girl. He robbed me. FML
by Anonymous / 07/09/2015 at 3:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by who_cares / 07/09/2015 at 7:20am / United States (California) / Intimacy
- Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one… Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the…