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vb68's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
vb68's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a throbbing cluster headache. It didn't help matters when an angry customer yelled at me because a dress was "defective." Why was it defective? It didn't fit her. Why didn't it fit her? It was the wrong size. FML
by checkthelabel / 04/25/2016 at 8:00pm / United States (California) / Work
by BenFiggy / 04/21/2016 at 9:28am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
by faeliality / 04/18/2016 at 4:39am / United States / Work
Today, I went to a karaoke bar for the first time. I'd never sung in front of others, but I gave it a try. I was accused of being way too drunk and was asked to leave. I didn't get kicked out in the end, but I was told that my singing voice sounds like a dying goat. FML
by fuck's sake / 04/16/2016 at 6:54am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was hauling cow shit. I had a car following me very closely, so I turned on the spreader to get them to back off. It was a cop. I got pulled over in a tractor for spraying cow shit on a cop car. FML
by farmingman / 04/14/2016 at 7:24pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, a customer got angry with me, because store policy says we can't accept returns of unsealed video games unless there's actual damage to the disc. The guy got enraged and started yelling about how I'm a "useless fuckwhistle". I almost got written up for laughing so hard at the insult. FML
by Anonymous / 04/01/2016 at 4:21pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
Today, I took my boyfriend's advice and finally stood up to my very passive-agressive, rude mother. What started in a conversation about her snide comment about my outfit ended in me needing to find somewhere else to live. FML
by jessroses / 03/31/2016 at 9:36am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by Liz / 03/26/2016 at 3:26pm / United States (California) / Work
by gabimk23 / 03/23/2016 at 9:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by an adorable devil / 03/21/2016 at 2:52am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML
by humiliated / 03/20/2016 at 7:54am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
by Juju Bear / 03/08/2016 at 6:54am / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/07/2016 at 2:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 17 year old daughter told me she was going to bake a cake. When she finished she offered me one and it was crunchy. I asked her why and she said the recipe said to put eggs in. She put them in whole. FML
by anonymous / 03/06/2016 at 12:33am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, I introduced my kind and amazing Iranian boyfriend to my mother. When he went to use the rest room, she warned me to "knock it off with this Bin Laden fetish" or she'll have me put on psychiatric hold. FML
by Anonymous / 03/05/2016 at 1:58am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Love