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vb68's FML badges
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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
vb68's favorite FMLs
by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML
by JackieD / 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
by angry girlfriend / 08/24/2014 at 11:27pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML
by abusedparrot / 08/24/2014 at 8:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
by Beeky / 08/22/2014 at 9:14am / United States (Montana) / Work
Today, my parents accused me of being secretive. I have no idea what they're talking about; all I do is work, go to school, sleep, and eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell them what's going on. I have crazy parents, that's what's going on. FML
by up to no-good... / 08/22/2014 at 12:09am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML
by 919191 / 08/18/2014 at 9:26am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Kids
by ugh thanks / 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML
by you ripped them off ages ago / 08/17/2014 at 2:15am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Kids
by Sara777boo / 08/16/2014 at 2:43pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/15/2014 at 10:16pm / Australia (Victoria) / Love
Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by kirstyrd / 08/12/2014 at 2:07am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, a customer came into McDonalds and placed his order. He insisted on putting each coin on the counter rather than handing them straight to me, because he doesn't like touching "poor people". FML
by poorman / 08/11/2014 at 3:54pm / United States (California) / Work
by weirded out / 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…