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vb68's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
vb68's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML
by FML / 07/24/2014 at 11:59am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML
by Pandamomma / 07/21/2014 at 8:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by kids say the darnedest things / 07/18/2014 at 10:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, I was stuck in heavy traffic. Bored, I looked to my left and noticed someone who seemed to be asleep at the wheel. After staring for a bit, wondering how people can be so negligent, I ended up hitting the car in front of me. FML
by 2013bchan41 / 07/18/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (New York) / Transportation
by sexyhobbit / 07/11/2014 at 8:26pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 6:54pm / United States (California) / Work
by morgan_rumm / 07/11/2014 at 4:02pm / Miscellaneous
by library book / 07/10/2014 at 1:27am / United States (Texas) / Money
Today, my friend found on Tinder the profile of a guy I've been dating and getting quite serious with. I was surprised, not only because he'd told me he didn't do "stuff" like Facebook or Tinder, but because he lied about his job and his surname. Oh, and the fact that he got married in March. FML
by OhJoy_777 / 07/08/2014 at 4:05am / Love
Today, as I was putting on sports shoes to get to a job interview in a hurry, a man ran past me and grabbed my formal shoes while shouting, "Ninja!" Try explaining to the guy at the interview why I was wearing sneakers with a skirt suit. FML
by Baskets-Tailleur / 07/07/2014 at 2:58am / France / Love
Today, I went on a job interview. The interviewer said it all went well, but he can't hire me because I've got a nose piercing, and that type of "image" isn't the kind they're looking for in their employees. This is the guy who had a full sleeve tattoo. FML
by Anonymous / 07/06/2014 at 2:06pm / United States (California) / Work
by zl5 / 07/04/2014 at 7:17pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Work
by carebear1228 / 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML
by Respect101 / 06/25/2014 at 8:20pm / United States (Texas) / Work
- Today, the guy I've been with for 4 years chose hard drugs over me and our daughter. Happy birthday… Today, my little sister told me she "got wet" when the guinea pig we were looking after licked her… Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner because my gym membership wasn't supposed to be taken out…