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vb68's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
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vb68's favorite FMLs
Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML
by humiliated / 03/20/2016 at 7:54am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
by InsipidPotatoes / 03/19/2016 at 10:53am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Love
by Juju Bear / 03/08/2016 at 6:54am / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/07/2016 at 2:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 17 year old daughter told me she was going to bake a cake. When she finished she offered me one and it was crunchy. I asked her why and she said the recipe said to put eggs in. She put them in whole. FML
by anonymous / 03/06/2016 at 12:33am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, I introduced my kind and amazing Iranian boyfriend to my mother. When he went to use the rest room, she warned me to "knock it off with this Bin Laden fetish" or she'll have me put on psychiatric hold. FML
by Anonymous / 03/05/2016 at 1:58am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Love
Today, I got written up by HR after my new coworker told them I had an ignorant, offensive caricature of Native American people decorating my desk. It was a framed photograph of an actual Native American tribe that belonged to my history buff grandfather. FML
by okaythen / 03/02/2016 at 6:50pm / United States (California) / Work
by cutiecuppiecakez / 02/29/2016 at 4:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 02/25/2016 at 4:55pm / United States / Health
by Mr. X / 02/23/2016 at 12:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/23/2016 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/17/2016 at 4:36pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work
Today, two aggressive police officers appeared at my door informing me that a complaint was filed about my 18 year-old son having "inappropriate relations" with a 16 year-old. We live in England. I had to Google the law to prove to them this was legal. FML
by Confuseddad / 02/16/2016 at 5:17pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, I found my 6-year-old daughter recording herself on her little tape recorder. When I asked her what she was up to, she replied in her cute little voice, "I'm recording myself so you'll have a souvenir when I'm dead." FML
by DarkChild / 02/11/2016 at 5:18pm / France / Kids
Today, I visited my 90-year-old great-grandmother and her boyfriend. This wouldn't be a problem, if this boyfriend wasn't different than the one she had yesterday. She told me not to tell him about "the other one". FML
by anon / 02/01/2016 at 11:37am / United States / Love