Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

vaxc

Online | Search for a member

vaxc

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 173
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About vaxc : Hey people feel free to message me

vaxc's page activity

Visits<b>mfaizsiddiqui</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:11pm<b>Enderkate4</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 7:12pm<b>plaguer</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 11:21pm<b>boobear511</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 1:28am<b>boostedc</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 4:58pm<b>zBerryz</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 10:38pm<b>notjacobgrasso</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 12:51am<b>zinoxity</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 2:21pm<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 6:57pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 4:49pm<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 4:12pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 8:13am<b>kerripjones</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 11:38pm<b>Acacia21</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 9:11pm<b>bigj74</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 10:41pm<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:43pm<b>Kautkto</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:33am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 10:36am

vaxc's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of vaxc's badges

vaxc's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36188) - you deserved it (3581)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I was rock climbing. I had my equipment on and I saw a really cute girl. I went for the hardest climb in the gym, and while jumping up to grab the rock, I simultaneously farted, missed the rock, fell to the mat and broke my arm in the process. FML

#21303024
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31996) - you deserved it (15115)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by AOart1st (man) - United States (California)

Today, while having some "personal" time, I felt intense pleasure and moaned. I learned that my own moaning prevents me from reaching my peak. I'm my own turn off. FML

#21290790
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34181) - you deserved it (4920)

On 11/02/2014 at 8:31pm - intimacy - by SelfServiced - United States (California)

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

#21282367
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34125) - you deserved it (7119)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36556) - you deserved it (11075)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34483) - you deserved it (3453)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

#21232670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38877) - you deserved it (12866)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

#21130490
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41282) - you deserved it (10506)

On 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm - health - by Numbass123 (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I read that egg whites make a good hair treatment. Everything was going fine until, without thinking, I turned the hot water on to wash it out. I'm still picking the cooked egg out of my hair. FML

#21129302
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24669) - you deserved it (32363)

On 05/03/2014 at 12:57am - misc - by EggHead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend's cat for staring at me, then cried about it for an hour. Pregnancy life. FML

#21056743
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42995) - you deserved it (9049)

On 02/10/2014 at 10:16pm - animals - by alii2349 - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, a DJ friend of mine offered me a part in one of his tracks. I was flattered, and accepted. All I ended up singing was, "I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch" over and over again in the background. FML

#21008243
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37935) - you deserved it (6641) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2013 at 9:46am - misc - by Cacahuete (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML

#20927673
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40802) - you deserved it (5487)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML

#20770545
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30219) - you deserved it (66608)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm - love - by Erica (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: