![[fr]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_fr_hover.gif)
![[it]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_it_hover.gif)
![[es2]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_es2_hover.gif)
![[tr]](http://cdn4.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_tr_hover.gif)
![[de]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_de_hover.gif)
![[ru]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_ru_hover.gif)
![[se]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_se_hover.gif)
About vawaviey : Random and Spontaneous (and not necessarily completely legal) is how i spend my days when I get out of classes. Anything to breaking of chunks of ice to float down the rapids in to running naked through a Wal-mart sounds good to me. Oh yeah, Im triple majoring for Accounting (CPA) Economics, and Finance majors, rarely do work, and still maintain a 3.8 without trying
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a feild sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test infront of all the students and parents. I blew. 06%. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17704) - you deserved it (71132)
On 04/07/2009 at 4:44pm - health - by schoolgrlstaci (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML
I agree, your life sucks (77179) - you deserved it (20170)
On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41196) - you deserved it (115418)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Today, I was on my way to meet some friends for lunch. As I was parking, one of their cell phones accidentally called mine. As I walked to the restaurant, I listened in as some of my best friends discussed all the things they hate about me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68445) - you deserved it (3179)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, a 7 year old girl randomly came up to me and told me to fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard this conversation, she came up to me and told me to fuck myself as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (162663) - you deserved it (15000)
On 03/30/2009 at 1:06am - kids - by Wmsys32pr9 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had my girlfriend over and we we're watching a movie in my basement. I run upstairs and pop a bag of popcorn. Later I come downstairs to find my 10 year old brother sitting next to my girlfriend saying," My brother always says he wants to screw your brains out, whatever that means". FML
I agree, your life sucks (20713) - you deserved it (53373)
On 03/26/2009 at 11:42am - kids - by CaoNiMa (man) - China (Beijing)
Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26046) - you deserved it (93411)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my mother asked me if my boyfriend and I were getting serious. I quickly lied and said no. She then informed me that if things ever heated up that she would take me to get birthcontrol. Wanting birthcontrol, I confessed. In turn she grounded me. I am not allowed to see my boyfriend anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51275) - you deserved it (19068)
On 03/25/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my mom suspected me of doing marijuana. She went and bought a home-drug test and sent me to the bathroom. As I went in, I realized there was already pee in the toilet. I scooped that instead of my own and handed it to my mom. It came up positive. My sister used the bathroom last. She's 12. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25166) - you deserved it (55659)
On 03/24/2009 at 12:19am - health - by smokythebear (man) - United States
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51345) - you deserved it (5385)
On 03/22/2009 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by liz1234 - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (157420) - you deserved it (18690)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my little 7 year old brother asked me what horny meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52110) - you deserved it (5056)
On 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my 13 year old sister had to explain the bases to me. Turns out, I have skipped first and second base and gone straight to third, without even realizing it. What makes it worse is that she told my mother, and now my whole family thinks I'm a slut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12172) - you deserved it (45590)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by musik_ist_liebe (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22656) - you deserved it (82847)
On 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Stacy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my friend and i decided to call my boyfriend of three months on three way pretending that i wasn't on the phone. They started talking about me and how cute we were together when my boyfriend says, ''I really do like Ashley a lot and its going to be even harder when i tell her i'm gay now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (66010) - you deserved it (17198)
On 03/19/2009 at 9:19pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
