vashhybrid

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Offline (the 12/31/2015 at 7:11am)

vashhybrid

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 December 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9474
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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vashhybrid's page activity

Visits<b>ScarletSarah</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 8:24pm<b>nesteremily</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 12:43am<b>Steffi3</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 2:21pm<b>raihny</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 11:17pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 11:03am<b>slimblack</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 8:49am<b>Shmatterhorn</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 7:12am<b>umidontrember</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 1:13pm<b>codazombie</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 6:35pm<b>Aksta</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 5:21pm<b>savysnugglebear</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 2:09am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 3:31am<b>Fitzinator1995</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 11:48pm<b>life5sucks</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 7:14am

vashhybrid's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of vashhybrid's badges

vashhybrid's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were choosing animals that reminded us of eachother. I said he reminded me of a tiger because he is really muscular. He told me I reminded him of a zebra. When I asked him why, he said it was because of my stretchmarks. FML

by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 4:03pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 7:24am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 5:30am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my Father over top of me saying "nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burgler and he knocked me out. FML

by Noname / 03/11/2009 at 2:04am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was working at Old Navy. A girl came up to me and did a bizarre dance. Not knowing how to react, I imitated her to be friendly with the customer. Then she stopped cold. Her friend stormed up to me and yelled, "you jerk! Why are you mocking her? She has tourettes you know!" FML

by Ricky / 03/08/2009 at 8:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML

by serverdessert / 03/08/2009 at 5:02pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, all of my friends and teachers asked me what was wrong because I looked sad and tired. One kid even said that I looked like "an abused housewife the day after." I was fine. It was the first time I went to school without wearing any makeup. FML

by bu09 / 03/07/2009 at 3:34pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting on my 70 year old grandmothers bed with my older brother. I decided to snoop through the cabinet at the back of her bed, and I pulled out what I naively thought was a strange looking flashlight. When I twisted the bottom of it to see what would happen it started vibrating. FML

by You Wish / 03/07/2009 at 2:35am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

by SadDad / 03/05/2009 at 8:51pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

by Noname / 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML

by nuberific / 03/05/2009 at 1:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

by Girl123999 / 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up at 5:30 AM to my boyfriend flipping on the lights and shouting, "We have a problem!" Our chinchilla had gotten out of his maximum security cage, and half of our apartment is now underwater because he decided the water line that leads to the fridge would make a tasty midnight snack. FML

by Sara / 03/04/2009 at 5:42pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

by Señor Guapo / 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous