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vanity113

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vanity113

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 294
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About vanity113 : Raaaaaaaaaaaaaah

vanity113's page activity

Visits<b>more4me</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 5:26am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 1:15am<b>hendy34</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 9:58pm<b>OnlyMe9716</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 12:58pm<b>thomashood</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 10:00am<b>rosenkrieger223</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 3:41am<b>daveo99999</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 3:25am<b>Relius</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 3:10pm<b>VentiAnemoi</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 10:26pm<b>AculyAmber</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 6:06pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 2:01pm<b>AGB10</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 6:00am<b>Domo17</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 5:21am<b>virgilcole505</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 4:24am<b>chargers2588</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 9:25pm<b>olpally</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 5:25pm<b>Norelee</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 3:07pm<b>Ins0mau</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 1:26am

vanity113's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

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vanity113's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

#20933730
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53147) - you deserved it (9097)

On 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Dick the Greater (man) -

Today, one of my employees called in after his 8-hour shift, explaining that he had bed bugs at home, found one on his shirt, and thinks they are in the store. I own a mattress shop. They'd spread. FML

#20877588
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46426) - you deserved it (2547)

On 09/11/2013 at 9:12pm - work - by icanteven - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I officially became a divorced marriage counselor. FML

#20877295
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44309) - you deserved it (7243)

On 09/11/2013 at 5:35pm - work - by natattack - United States (Texas)

Today, my ass decided that it was the perfect day to exhibit the diarrhea side-effect of medicine I'm taking. I definitely made a lasting impression on my interviewer. FML

#20846310
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38702) - you deserved it (2626)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:18pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML

#20839296
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34415) - you deserved it (26808)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm - misc - by deadman (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up early to travel to the office headquarters 3.5 hours away for important meetings. After waking up at 5.30am, picking up all my colleagues and driving 40 min out of town, I realised I was wearing my woolen house slippers. They were the only pair of shoes I'd brought on the trip. FML

#20722747
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39932) - you deserved it (8584)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:04am - work - by vanity113 - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my 21-year-old girlfriend finally got the courage to tell her mom that she wanted to move in with me. It turns out she was right to be afraid; during the talk, her mother yelled at us, calling her a slut and saying she was too young to be "shacking up with some guy." FML

#20714116
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41747) - you deserved it (5546)

On 06/08/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by MonsterInLaw (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

#20662485
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98374) - you deserved it (5968)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

#20640404
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62919) - you deserved it (13805)

On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -

Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML

#20624343
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62239) - you deserved it (13941)

On 04/27/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML

#20596452
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68631) - you deserved it (17864)

On 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Gurior - Canada



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