About vanishesinair : I speak my mind, and don't regret it. I may be a nerd but can still fight people off. I fall in love fast then fall hard when it doesn't last. I'm a writer, and always will be. You can't judge me before you know me. I can get along with most people, all others fuck off, I don't have time to deal with your shit on top of mine. I'm puerto rican and european. I am me.
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vanishesinair's favorite FMLs
Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML
by Anonymous / 11/11/2010 at 3:40am / France / Love
by Anonymous / 11/08/2010 at 5:55am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Animals
by nk / 11/03/2010 at 12:39am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
by Michelle / 12/27/2009 at 2:13am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my car crashed and the only refuge was at a nearby house, the resident of which was a crazy psycho. Now replace "crazy psycho" with "crazy ex-girlfriend who won't help you unless you compose a poem about how much you love her." FML
by worsethanzombies / 11/23/2009 at 11:40am / Spain (Madrid) / Transportation
by awilson / 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML
by piratequeen / 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy
Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML
by Anonymous / 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML
by Señor Guapo / 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend when a beautiful woman looked at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want to upset my girlfriend, so I escaped to the bar. When I came back, I saw the same girl making out with my girlfriend. Maybe I wasn't the one she was looking at. FML
by clubber / 11/03/2008 at 11:16pm / Switzerland (Fribourg) / Love
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