Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

vanishesinair

Search for a member

vanishesinair

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 22 May 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 929
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About vanishesinair : I speak my mind, and don't regret it. I may be a nerd but can still fight people off. I fall in love fast then fall hard when it doesn't last. I'm a writer, and always will be. You can't judge me before you know me. I can get along with most people, all others fuck off, I don't have time to deal with your shit on top of mine. I'm puerto rican and european. I am me.

vanishesinair's page activity

Visits<b>illmatic2</b> - the 01/14/2013 at 8:57pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:19pm<b>ZombiePanda101</b> - the 02/25/2011 at 12:37am<b>HappinessForFree</b> - the 02/11/2011 at 9:47am<b>Doortje</b> - the 02/03/2011 at 9:05pm<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 01/25/2011 at 1:00am<b>ColdBlackLies</b> - the 01/08/2011 at 11:12pm<b>Jorindaaah</b> - the 11/28/2010 at 11:55am<b>Hughmadd</b> - the 10/22/2010 at 11:10pm<b>greyy_goooose</b> - the 09/05/2010 at 9:40am<b>xtend</b> - the 07/22/2010 at 8:34am<b>_SexyLexi_</b> - the 07/04/2010 at 8:39pm<b>ScaryyMary</b> - the 06/30/2010 at 5:35pm<b>Brave_Sir_Robin</b> - the 06/29/2010 at 11:31am<b>TheIrishJaneDoe</b> - the 06/29/2010 at 12:26am<b>Firestar</b> - the 06/28/2010 at 11:17pm<b>boatkicker</b> - the 06/28/2010 at 10:50pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 06/28/2010 at 8:18pm

vanishesinair's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

vanishesinair's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML

#13798665
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59054) - you deserved it (3417) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/11/2010 at 3:40am - love - by Anonymous - France

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

#13762266
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31226) - you deserved it (5293)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML

#13696157
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32098) - you deserved it (10782)

On 11/03/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by nk (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML

#6968124
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38751) - you deserved it (4124)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States

Today, my car crashed and the only refuge was at a nearby house, the resident of which was a crazy psycho. Now replace "crazy psycho" with "crazy ex-girlfriend who won't help you unless you compose a poem about how much you love her." FML

#6420890
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28403) - you deserved it (4331)

On 11/23/2009 at 11:40am - love - by worsethanzombies (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59285) - you deserved it (15284)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

#4361327
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49691) - you deserved it (6437)

On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21937) - you deserved it (53539)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26702) - you deserved it (41627)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend when a beautiful woman looked at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want to upset my girlfriend, so I escaped to the bar. When I came back, I saw the same girl making out with my girlfriend. Maybe I wasn't the one she was looking at. FML

#202
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53714) - you deserved it (8033)

On 11/03/2008 at 11:16pm - love - by clubber - Switzerland (Fribourg)

Today, I've learnt that the girl I love thinks I'm gay. To be honest, I'm having doubts too. FML

#51
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53843) - you deserved it (14051)

On 10/26/2008 at 8:07am - love - by etsl - Sent from mobile version



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: