About vanishesinair : I speak my mind, and don't regret it. I may be a nerd but can still fight people off. I fall in love fast then fall hard when it doesn't last. I'm a writer, and always will be. You can't judge me before you know me. I can get along with most people, all others fuck off, I don't have time to deal with your shit on top of mine. I'm puerto rican and european. I am me.
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Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50186) - you deserved it (2531) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26634) - you deserved it (4834)
On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)
Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25148) - you deserved it (8228)
On 11/03/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by nk (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32768) - you deserved it (3563)
On 12/27/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States
Today, my car crashed, the only refuge was at a nearby house, of which the inhabitant of the house was a crazy psycho. Now replace "crazy psycho" with "crazy ex-girlfriend who won't help you unless you compose a poem about how much you love her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22818) - you deserved it (3403)
On 11/23/2009 at 11:40am - love - by worsethanzombies (man) - Spain (Madrid)
Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (51147) - you deserved it (11686)
On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43533) - you deserved it (5206)
On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17889) - you deserved it (41631)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21741) - you deserved it (35719)
On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend when a beautiful woman looked at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want to upset my girlfriend, so I escaped to the bar. When I came back, I saw the same girl making out with my girlfriend. Maybe I wasn't the one she was looking at. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44854) - you deserved it (6088)
On 11/03/2008 at 11:16pm - love - by clubber - Switzerland (Fribourg)
Today, I've learnt that the girl I love thinks I'm gay. To be honest, I'm having doubts too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45782) - you deserved it (11761)
On 10/26/2008 at 8:07am - love - by etsl - Sent from mobile version
Monday 17 June 2013
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