About vanessuhm : Hey, I'm Vanessa, currently a Senior in high school.
vanessuhm's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
vanessuhm's favorite FMLs
by Username / 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 06/09/2011 at 7:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by thoughtitwasspecial / 05/18/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, Chocolate and popcorn, then regretting it and going to the gym is a bad idea. I discovered how far vomit, on a moving treadmill, can be thrown across a room. FML
by gymgirl / 05/05/2011 at 9:47am / Hong Kong / Health
Today, I was reading a blog post by a girl that I really like. In the post, it said, "I know I'm not beautiful." I told her that I thought it wasn't true at all. She responded by crying hysterically and asking me why I would say that. It turned out that it actually said, "I know I'm beautiful." FML
by Arran / 04/09/2011 at 8:24pm / United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent) / Love
Today, I walked into a room, where a guy was violently picking his nose. He kept picking. A very pretty girl walked in after me, and he immediately stopped and sat up straight. Apparently, I'm too ugly to motivate strangers to stop excavating their nasal cavities. FML
by uggo / 03/29/2011 at 1:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by greenchan / 02/25/2011 at 12:12am / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy
Today, it was both my and my stepmother's birthday. In preparation, my dad bought a huge banner with my stepmother's name on it, and a lovely birthday cake. When I told him it was also my birthday, he just grunted and taped a post-it note to the banner with my name on it. Same with the cake. FML
by stinkerweeder / 02/05/2011 at 3:30pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/29/2011 at 3:09am / France / Animals
by snappyPi / 01/28/2011 at 1:21am / Miscellaneous
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm / France / Health
by Anonymous / 12/30/2010 at 2:14am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, in art class, we made plaster masks. We were supposed to put Vaseline on our partner's face so the plaster didn't rip their facial hair out. My partner forgot to put it on my eye brows and eye lashes. My face is now completely hairless. FML
Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML
by maddiee. / 10/21/2010 at 11:20am / Indonesia (Jakarta Raya) / Miscellaneous
Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2010 at 12:17am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I'm more into the best man from my wedding (3 years ago) than I am my husband: which is not… Today, at work as a mechanic I was finishing an oil change. The gun that dispenses the oil recoiled… Today, at my friends work I went to use the restroom and I managed to drop my keys in the toilet. I…