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vanessuhm

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vanessuhm
  • Town/Country : Newark, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 5 November 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 522
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About vanessuhm : Hey, I'm Vanessa, currently a Senior in high school.

vanessuhm's last visitors

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vanessuhm's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of vanessuhm's badges

vanessuhm's favorite FMLs

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend in the bathroom, we heard a knock at the door, then her father's voice. I had to fake constipation noises until he left. FML

#20053940
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20256) - you deserved it (11507)

On 09/02/2012 at 11:38am - intimacy - by scot - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my fiancée showed me her wedding plans. It will be themed on one of her video games, the best man will be dressed as an alien warlord, and the vows talk about how we'll beat the odds and be blessed by the "Goddess Kalahira". Apparently, I have no say in this. FML

#20021119
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18329) - you deserved it (4919)

On 08/14/2012 at 6:50pm - love - by cestquoicebordel?? (man) - France

Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelt my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML

#20009342
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5487) - you deserved it (42374)

On 08/08/2012 at 10:00am - misc - by FutureMarine3658 - United States (Utah)

Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML

#19660572
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22504) - you deserved it (4476)

On 05/22/2012 at 1:05am - intimacy - by chchboy (man) - United States

Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML

#19180967
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25194) - you deserved it (1977)

On 02/28/2012 at 7:46am - animals - by JeffeeBojangles - United States (Texas)

Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML

#18990200
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11908) - you deserved it (22466)

On 02/04/2012 at 5:16am - intimacy - by mattttbob - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML

#18932795
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20714) - you deserved it (2017)

On 01/28/2012 at 10:46am - animals - by tannarox - United States (California)

Today, my business is doing so badly that people are teaching their kids to drive in the empty parking lot. FML

#18565836
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26270) - you deserved it (2222)

On 12/20/2011 at 10:18pm - work - by Thomas - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my mother hacked my Facebook and broke up with my boyfriend and pretended to be me. She told him if he ever talks to me again, she'll call the cops. FML

#18518838
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29325) - you deserved it (2578)

On 12/15/2011 at 10:20am - love - by NinjaWafflesx (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because we watched a movie that Taylor Lautner was in, she claims they made special eye contact and they are destined to be together. FML

#18379052
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37750) - you deserved it (4034)

On 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm - love - by hot_shot (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46833) - you deserved it (14938)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend preferred to delete his account than admit we are in a relationship on Facebook. FML

#17834282
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27730) - you deserved it (4992)

On 09/25/2011 at 9:52pm - love - by lexyloo - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

#17536285
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55223) - you deserved it (6813)

On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)

Today, the girl of my dreams that I've been dating for months called me. Apparently she's been having recurring nightmares of me cheating on her. She dumped me "just in case." FML

#17527227
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30533) - you deserved it (2203)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:20am - love - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, the girl of my dreams that I've been dating for months called me. Apparently she's been having recurring nightmares of me cheating on her. She dumped me "just in case." FML

#17527227
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30533) - you deserved it (2203)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:20am - love - by Username - United States (New York)



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