vanessuhm

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vanessuhm

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 5 November 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2017
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About vanessuhm : Hey, I'm Vanessa, currently a Senior in high school.

vanessuhm's page activity

Visits<b>DrowningLessons</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 7:25pm<b>aymang2</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 8:07am<b>cdude1023</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 1:41pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 6:31pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 6:20am<b>ohWHALESaye</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 1:58am<b>michaelaranda</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 11:00pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 5:52pm<b>sxcthaigirl</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 9:44am<b>jackjackattack3</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:22am<b>LaPaisa</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 4:48am<b>maxymum7</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 10:20am<b>DerekCorbett</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 3:27pm<b>moonlightknight</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 3:17pm<b>LolMoqz</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 9:19am<b>teddygrams16</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 8:09pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 9:48pm<b>Just_Ya</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 5:33pm

Fucked!<b>DrowningLessons</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 1:25am

vanessuhm's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of vanessuhm's badges

vanessuhm's favorite FMLs

Today, I taught my girlfriend some French. She then used her newfound language to break up with me. FML

by French / 10/24/2013 at 8:52am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML

by Female_Lucifer / 10/20/2013 at 9:02am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

by mustabeendrugs / 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

by Kyra.45 / 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my sister came out of her room sobbing uncontrollably. When I asked what was wrong, she put her fingers in my face and asked if they smelled like pickles, and if "that's normal for girls". They did. It's not. FML

by Carebeareatu / 09/14/2013 at 1:42am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, while out jogging with my mom, we saw my boyfriend walking in our direction. When we reached him, he took one look at my makeup-less face, then made a huge show of screaming in disgust before calmly walking away. FML

by -___- / 09/13/2013 at 8:37pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend convinced me do an Insanity workout with him. I passed out during the warmup. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 3:09pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2013 at 11:09am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, one of my paintings was accepted into a local art gallery. It would've been a dream come true, had my "best friend" not submitted it under her own name and taken all the credit. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

by Anonymous / 11/22/2012 at 1:50am / United States / Work

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2012 at 10:50am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my 43-year-old brother's obsession with Breaking Bad reached a new level of stupidity when he nearly got us beaten up by a bunch of meth-heads down by our local park. He went up to them with his shaved head and stupid hat, and tried to act all Walter White with them. FML

by NotJessePinkmanFFS / 09/10/2012 at 2:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend in the bathroom, we heard a knock at the door, then her father's voice. I had to fake constipation noises until he left. FML

by scot / 09/02/2012 at 11:38am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy