vanessa09865

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Offline (the 04/15/2015 at 12:25pm)

vanessa09865

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : South Gate, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 February 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1607
  • Number of comments : 94
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About vanessa09865 : I love to cook and I love my dog. I also love anything LOTR related; I would love to learn Elvish but alas I have not found an Elvish dictionary.

vanessa09865's page activity

Visits<b>28actress</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 7:10am<b>H4H</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 2:19pm<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 2:52am<b>iwillreapyou</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 7:19pm<b>arealsexybitch</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 5:07am<b>EnJey0</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 9:52pm<b>ExpectNeo</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 9:41pm<b>jill97</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 9:58am<b>littlemzobvious</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 5:02pm<b>LPac5295</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 9:42am<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 5:24pm<b>Meriwether</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 1:41am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 12:15pm<b>NineeCat</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 12:31am<b>Twigman8</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 4:56am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 7:08am<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 7:40am<b>monkey8970</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 7:53pm

Fucked!<b>iwillreapyou</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 1:19am<b>tainted2471</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:51pm<b>NotoriousKidney</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:49pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 9:52pm<b>Gillett</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Codezlol</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:57pm<b>cooltatgar</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 7:21pm

vanessa09865's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of vanessa09865's badges

vanessa09865's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

by fuck kids / 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML

by The Clitshank Redemption / 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Love

Today, my parents blew my entire college fund in their quest to finish building their replica Hobbit house in our back yard. FML

by future burger flipper / 06/03/2013 at 3:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Money

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 11:20am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Love

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML

by scared-straight / 05/27/2013 at 12:05am / United States / Animals

Today, a friend was put on suicide watch when her parents wouldn't pay $500 for a premium senior picture package. FML

by AwkwardHaole808 / 05/22/2013 at 6:52pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was leaving my doctor's appointment when a nurse stopped me. She exclaimed, "Wow you are so skinny! What's your secret?" My secret? Having an autoimmune disease. FML

by HamSandwich12 / 05/08/2013 at 10:17am / United States (Ohio) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

by itsellie27 / 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

by dancekat / 04/08/2013 at 5:17am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML

by confused / 04/07/2013 at 10:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

by haku4u / 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML

by Stoopiddogbot / 02/12/2013 at 8:18am / United Kingdom (Swansea) / Animals

Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML

by obsequiousfannyflapper / 02/10/2013 at 6:13pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

by littlemiss / 02/10/2013 at 11:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids