vanessa09865

Search for a member

Offline (the 04/15/2015 at 12:25pm)

vanessa09865

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : South Gate, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 February 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1480
  • Number of comments : 94
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About vanessa09865 : I love to cook and I love my dog. I also love anything LOTR related; I would love to learn Elvish but alas I have not found an Elvish dictionary.

vanessa09865's page activity

Visits<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 2:52am<b>iwillreapyou</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 7:19pm<b>arealsexybitch</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 5:07am<b>EnJey0</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 9:52pm<b>ExpectNeo</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 9:41pm<b>jill97</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 9:58am<b>littlemzobvious</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 5:02pm<b>LPac5295</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 9:42am<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 5:24pm<b>Meriwether</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 1:41am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 12:15pm<b>NineeCat</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 12:31am<b>Twigman8</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 4:56am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 7:08am<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 7:40am<b>monkey8970</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 7:53pm<b>Jarod_Yeager</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 9:33am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 9:30am

Fucked!<b>iwillreapyou</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 1:19am<b>tainted2471</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:51pm<b>NotoriousKidney</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:49pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 9:52pm<b>Gillett</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Codezlol</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:57pm<b>cooltatgar</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 7:21pm

vanessa09865's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of vanessa09865's badges

vanessa09865's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from work to find white fabric and crystals all over the apartment floor. I followed the trail of destruction to my bedroom, where my roommate had left our closet door open. Apparently, her cats decided that my wedding gown was to be their newest conquest. FML

by nakedweddingday / 07/03/2013 at 10:40pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I returned home from an extended vacation only to find out my cousin wasn't kidding when he said he was going to steal my boyfriend. I thought I was dating a straight guy. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2013 at 4:56pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook as she did not like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML

by Nicks / 07/03/2013 at 11:10am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my older sister for the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman my college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately, our reunion was fueled by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML

by Jenn / 07/02/2013 at 10:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids

Today, my crush kissed me for the first time. However, my hair was falling into my face and getting in the way. No problem, I wear a wig so without thinking, I simply removed it. I don't think he'll kiss me again anytime soon. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2013 at 6:58am / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet. This went on for a while due to an upset stomach. I later walked into the living room only to find my parents and a few of their friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyed from laughing so much. FML

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

by VictoriaLeavitt / 06/24/2013 at 8:35pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I'm left with two non-refundable tickets to Jamaica, because my now ex-boyfriend said his Quidditch tournament is more important than seeing my "fat ass in a bikini". FML

by afraid of flying too / 06/24/2013 at 7:24pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm / United States / Health

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We'd been talking about the move where you pick a girl up and kiss, and how romantic that would be, so we decided to try it. When he picked me up, my head slammed against his ceiling fan. FML

by haleyart / 06/10/2013 at 12:10pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML

by purged / 06/08/2013 at 7:43pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 6:00pm / United States / Transportation