vanessa09865

Search for a member

Offline (the 04/15/2015 at 12:25pm)

vanessa09865

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : South Gate, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 February 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1327
  • Number of comments : 94
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About vanessa09865 : I love to cook and I love my dog. I also love anything LOTR related; I would love to learn Elvish but alas I have not found an Elvish dictionary.

vanessa09865's page activity

Visits<b>arealsexybitch</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 5:07am<b>EnJey0</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 9:52pm<b>ExpectNeo</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 9:41pm<b>jill97</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 9:58am<b>littlemzobvious</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 5:02pm<b>LPac5295</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 9:42am<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 5:24pm<b>Meriwether</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 1:41am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 12:15pm<b>NineeCat</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 12:31am<b>Twigman8</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 4:56am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 7:08am<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 7:40am<b>monkey8970</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 7:53pm<b>Jarod_Yeager</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 9:33am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 9:30am<b>Unknown242</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 7:24pm<b>XoBrendaa</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 7:42pm

Fucked!<b>tainted2471</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:51pm<b>NotoriousKidney</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:49pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 9:52pm<b>Gillett</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Codezlol</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:57pm<b>cooltatgar</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 7:21pm

vanessa09865's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of vanessa09865's badges

vanessa09865's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was yelled at once again for being in the school gym without a coach present. I am the coach. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I are on our way back from vacation. It will be an eight hour drive. It just so happens I got food poisoning the night before we left, and there's roadwork everywhere. We're at a dead halt with no signs of moving. FML

by Holding / 08/24/2013 at 1:21am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I attended my first day of school 4 days after reconstructive surgery. But no worries: I'm sure my alien-like appearance and 2 hours of Darth Vader style breathing in an otherwise silent test room will make me lots of friends. FML

Today, at work, two teenage girls caused a huge scene and told me to get lost, after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by "someone who doesn't have a thigh gap." FML

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. FML

by seriously? / 08/23/2013 at 3:40am / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

by aly55a_mariie / 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I broke into tears at work after being told my aunt had a stroke. My boss told me to "suck it up, no one is that close to their aunt." My aunt adopted me when my mother passed away. FML

Today, my sister admitted to selling pages of my diary to my old boyfriends. FML

by sisterly love / 08/14/2013 at 5:13pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

by ANON / 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I noticed that my new shampoo had an unfamiliar pink color to it. After some investigation, I found a dead mouse that had apparently cut itself on the bottle pump. I've been washing my hair with mouse blood. FML

by shampoomice / 08/07/2013 at 12:34pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally worked up the courage to write a girl a note, with my number on it, and the words: "You're stunning. Get in touch sometime." Heart pounding, I saw her, got up, and passed her the note. Then I passed out at her feet. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2013 at 11:46am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

by coldstar / 07/18/2013 at 5:06am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.