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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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vampirerebel

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vampirerebel
  • Town/Country : Portland, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 January 1991 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 589
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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vampirerebel's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working at Tim Hortons. A lady was in line, and she couldnt make up her mind. 20 minutes later she finally decided to get something, and she reached in her pocket. I was hoping it was a tip, but she gave me a coupon for a haircut. FML

#6125529 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (16130) - you deserved it (1706)

On 11/02/2009 at 8:15pm - misc - by justin_99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a family counseling session because my parents are getting a divorce. I told the counselor that I feel guilty because I feel like I caused it. She says that there is no way I could have caused it, that it's my parents' problem when my mom interrupts her to say "Yes she did." FML

#6120985 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (31466) - you deserved it (2177)

On 11/02/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by problemchild (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML

#6120564 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (26196) - you deserved it (3694)

On 11/02/2009 at 3:39pm - kids - by Chubby (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I got an e-mail from a girl, asking if my boyfriend was indeed my boyfriend. I sent back a gushing message about how much I loved him and how well he treated me. She replied "Yeah, I know. He was supposed to be my boyfriend, too." FML

#6113173 (51)

I agree, your life sucks (25319) - you deserved it (2407)

On 11/02/2009 at 12:08am - love - by OhJoy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML

#6100945 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (26192) - you deserved it (3925)

On 11/01/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

#5721676 (267)

I agree, your life sucks (60669) - you deserved it (3854)

On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my husband and I decided to take a romantic trip to the beach. We got pulled over, and shortly thereafter he was arrested. Just so happens you can't miss child support payments for your twelve year old daughter without getting a warrant. He has a daughter? We've been married for 14 years. FML

#4845223 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (50338) - you deserved it (2049)

On 08/26/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by AreYouSerious (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML

#4800729 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (28615) - you deserved it (5029)

On 08/25/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by singlesoon (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my mother and father are insisting that I go on a date with a German exchange student they met on the weekend. Why? Because we have similar glasses. FML

#4756987 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (25234) - you deserved it (2472)

On 08/23/2009 at 9:29am - love - by Foureyes (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was using a cream to remove the hair from my legs. After I was done, I went on the computer, and a few minutes later I noticed that the same hand I had the cream on was leaning on the side of my head. Now I have a huge bald spot and a party to go to later. FML

#4756593 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (9618) - you deserved it (30090)

On 08/23/2009 at 6:39am - misc - by Akasunanokai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that 15 years ago my father threw out my college acceptance letters so that I could stay home and take over the family's funeral home business. FML

#4508324 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (67491) - you deserved it (1586)

On 08/13/2009 at 7:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally told my mom I am a lesbian. She started laughing and said 'Good one honey'. I told her I wasn't joking, and she took my face in her hands and said 'You ARE joking!' Then she left. FML

#4465464 (293)

I agree, your life sucks (52399) - you deserved it (6813)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I felt inspired to create a photo album of myself through the years. As I was organizing the photos of my childhood, I noticed how many my mom was holding me and hugging me in. When she came home from work I jokingly asked, "When did you start hating me?" She replied, "When you were 4". FML

#4460221 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (32356) - you deserved it (3928)

On 08/11/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mother sat me down to tell me that since coming home from college, I sounded like "a liberated woman". She was disappointed and disturbed by this and said that I should stop having strong opinions and ideals because it would make finding a husband for me difficult. FML

#4448635 (317)

I agree, your life sucks (41180) - you deserved it (4912)

On 08/11/2009 at 10:57am - misc - by liberatedwoman (woman) - Oman (Masqat)

Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML

#4425556 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (8901) - you deserved it (36407)

On 08/10/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by klutz (woman) - United States (Texas)