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vampirebunnie579

Offline (the 04/17/2015 at 12:34am) | Search for a member

vampirebunnie579

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  • Number of visits : 610
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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vampirebunnie579's favorite FMLs

Today, my little sister complained about a young boy in her class always pulling her hair. She asked when boys will stop doing it. My mom replied, "They won't, even when they're grown-ups," then looked over at my dad and shared a dirty smirk. FML

#21369959
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36181) - you deserved it (3272)

On 03/07/2015 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by greatly disturbed - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

#21367801
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42498) - you deserved it (3483)

On 03/04/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Highnapple - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I am dating a puppy. FML

#21363602
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31787) - you deserved it (3810)

On 02/25/2015 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by failuretolaunch2 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's best friend. She was a girl he's known for years, and I respected that. She was sweet, until my boyfriend went to the bathroom and she threatened to stab me if I don't leave him. He doesn't believe me, and accused me of having serious jealousy issues. FML

#21340122
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37119) - you deserved it (2405)

On 01/19/2015 at 8:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her reason? Not enough guys have been liking her photos on Instagram since we started dating. FML

#21335495
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35881) - you deserved it (3110)

On 01/12/2015 at 12:03am - love - by yankeeboy123 - United States (Florida)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML

#21333775
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31676) - you deserved it (6685)

On 01/09/2015 at 4:11am - love - by pitytitty (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he didn't feel attractive. I tried to cheer him up by telling him that I find him very attractive, and so do my friends. He said that didn't matter, because my friends and I aren't attractive either. FML

#21333300
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35465) - you deserved it (4087)

On 01/08/2015 at 1:44pm - love - by licensed_ginger (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out first-hand that the most horrifying sight you can ever witness is two morbidly obese people getting nasty with each other in a dance club's run-down, public restroom. FML

#21316146
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31920) - you deserved it (4355)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML

#21312610
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36657) - you deserved it (11426)

On 12/06/2014 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by fuckered519 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a dirty picture to turn him on. He texted back: "Jfc, why wud u tease me like that?? Srsly fuck off". FML

#21308108
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32296) - you deserved it (6905)

On 11/29/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by come on man (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while having some "personal" time, I felt intense pleasure and moaned. I learned that my own moaning prevents me from reaching my peak. I'm my own turn off. FML

#21290790
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38464) - you deserved it (6143)

On 11/02/2014 at 8:31pm - intimacy - by SelfServiced - United States (California)

Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML

#21285558
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40543) - you deserved it (8720)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:25am - intimacy - by soisblueballsdickhead (woman) - United States

Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML

#21279154
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33967) - you deserved it (4927)

On 10/16/2014 at 3:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I noticed he looked uncomfortable. When I asked what was wrong, he asked when the last time I shaved was. I answered, "I shaved my legs this morning." He shook his head and said, "No, I meant your face." FML

#21274726
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36255) - you deserved it (5750)

On 10/10/2014 at 1:52am - love - by Jasmine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML



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