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vampirebunnie579

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vampirebunnie579

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vampirebunnie579's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML

#20990341
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49040) - you deserved it (3138)

On 12/12/2013 at 4:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML

#20971339
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36893) - you deserved it (9163)

On 11/26/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by fack (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML

#20971142
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41315) - you deserved it (5171)

On 11/26/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by HaedLei (woman) - United States

Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. After telling her everything I'm going through, she looked at me and said "You know... every five years or so I get a case completely beyond my ability to help." I guess it's been five years. FML

#20963305
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45527) - you deserved it (2979)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:31pm - health - by elle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was offered a job that pays far more than I expected, being a high school senior. My parents decided they aren't letting me take the job, saying I should enjoy my childhood. They're also not paying for my college, which is why I was looking for work in the first place. FML

#20960082
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47760) - you deserved it (2656)

On 11/16/2013 at 6:39pm - work - by Remy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

#20959868
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22709) - you deserved it (43854)

On 11/16/2013 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40701) - you deserved it (2733)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, I met my brother's girlfriend. We got talking, and we got onto the subject of tattoos. I said how much I hated tramp stamps, and how they make girls look trashy. She said, "Like this?" and showed me hers. FML

#20952213
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37693) - you deserved it (17502)

On 11/10/2013 at 12:51am - misc - by tramp - United States

Today, my girlfriend "got even" with me after an argument by telling people that I've been beating her. Three guys later came over to my place and beat the crap out of me. Her reaction: "I didn't think they'd take it so serious!" FML

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44345) - you deserved it (3344)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

#20950354
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41739) - you deserved it (17548)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:02pm - intimacy - by notsogood - United States

Today, I've been awake for nearly three days due to homework and my mom's wedding preparations, so I took some adderall to keep me awake at school. I took too much, totally zoned out in class, became hopelessly fascinated by my own hand, and was accused of doing drugs. FML

#20950229
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36274) - you deserved it (19788)

On 11/08/2013 at 12:43pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was having sex for the first time with a girl who wanted to be friends with benefits. Halfway through sex she noticed that I had the same tattoo as her brother, and had a full-on panic attack that lasted half-an-hour. FML

#20948735
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51805) - you deserved it (6444)

On 11/07/2013 at 3:52am - intimacy - by thatescalatedquickly (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to the bathroom on the way to class. After washing my hands, I couldn't figure out how to turn off the water. I finally resorted to asking a professor for help. She turned it off, looked me in the eyes and said, "Please don't tell me you're here on a scholarship." FML

#20948176
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24626) - you deserved it (32302)

On 11/06/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by nevergoingtopeeagain - United States (Texas)



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