About valsweetie : Hey im val :) . im a dancer (shuffling included) and a chill dj chick, who can even get down to play a little rugby ;) hit me up anytime cuz im always up for a fun convo if you want to get to know me :) my only con is that im ridiculously sarcastic, but other than that im a total sweetheart . Im a fiery latina but i dont bite that hard :) hehe
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Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8303) - you deserved it (35413)
On 06/12/2011 at 10:50pm - intimacy - by Shelly - United States (Indiana)
Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28251) - you deserved it (5101)
On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)
Today, my daughter turned 18. She decided to use this day to tell me everywhere her and her boyfriends have had sex in my house to get revenge for being overprotective. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17482) - you deserved it (44212)
On 06/01/2011 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52261) - you deserved it (9882)
On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my crush and I were talking on the phone and we were really hitting it off. We got on the subject of sex and I told him I have a purity ring. Then he suddenly said he had to go and hang up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20067) - you deserved it (33478)
On 05/21/2011 at 3:44am - love - by Cassie (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, the only positive thing my ex boyfriend left me was my pregnancy test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47968) - you deserved it (9129)
On 05/20/2011 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Emma-Louise (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, after fifth block, I decided to go for a little walk. Apparently so did my boyfriend and best friend. I found them together under the stairs with her head in his crotch. She said she was looking for her contacts. His pants were pulled down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46606) - you deserved it (3175)
On 05/18/2011 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by levi69 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with tic tac. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38729) - you deserved it (466)
Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12947) - you deserved it (57175)
On 05/02/2011 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by hornyloser (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56981) - you deserved it (5786)
On 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60870) - you deserved it (7583)
On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35603) - you deserved it (22845)
On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38885) - you deserved it (6435)
On 03/16/2011 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by thisblows - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (460060) - you deserved it (571640)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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