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valerie7188's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to the surprise birthday party of an ex I still love, though I'm the one who ended things. I walked in in time to see her screaming "Yes" to her kneeling boyfriend, her parents crying and applauding, and her brothers patting him on the back. FML
by Toolate / 10/10/2012 at 4:26am / United States (Maine) / Love
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML
by anonymous / 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
by MissCan'tKeepAJob / 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by badass / 08/13/2011 at 3:25am / United States / Love
by Taylor / 07/30/2011 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Yoda / 07/08/2011 at 1:23am / United States (New York) / Geek
Today, I laughed when I saw my ex-girlfriend in her overall uniform, thinking she'd got a job as a janitor. Turns out she's as professional marine welder. She's 22 years old and earns my monthly salary in three days. My current girlfriend who was there with me called me a loser in front of her. FML
by eatmywords / 07/05/2011 at 3:06am / Singapore / Love
by longlostkid556 / 06/05/2011 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Love
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML
by Jessie / 12/25/2010 at 8:38am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/22/2010 at 2:52pm / United States / Love
by single / 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I jokingly asked my husband if he had ever cheated on me. In the most sincere and honest tone, he said "if I ever have or ever will, there's no way you would ever find out. I love you too much to lose you", and gave me a hug. FML
by spockswifey / 11/03/2010 at 2:40am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/30/2010 at 10:00am / Japan (Tokyo) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I tried talking to my boyfriend about our sex life. I was trying to express that I feel like… Today, I told my coworker who I have been crushing on for a while, that I really enjoyed our time… Today, I talked to my husband about his lack of interest in sex. Apparently his definition is polar…