valdancer99

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valdancer99

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 November 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1064
  • Number of comments : 149
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About valdancer99 : Competitive Gymnast for 10 years and counting ( I started gymnastics when I was one and started competing when I was 3) and I really barely go on FML.

valdancer99's page activity

Visits<b>Emmalyne606777</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 2:55pm<b>lexred</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 9:00am<b>jamaarlove</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 11:04pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 7:55pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 12:44am<b>16sparklytrees</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 4:36pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 11:10am<b>LieBull2732</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 3:36pm<b>DalekWarrior26</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 10:27pm<b>Supersid333</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 12:19pm<b>player20270</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 6:16am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 7:40am<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 11:01am<b>Ashd09</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 6:22pm<b>DropTheDaggerxx</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 11:26pm<b>Noah197099</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 12:54pm<b>Effulgence</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:43pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 8:57pm

valdancer99's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

valdancer99's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought a UV light so I could detect cat pee, since I was sure my cat was relieving herself on the carpet. I decided to try it out in the living room first. Nearly half the room lit up like a Christmas tree. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

by CaseyFpC85 / 09/11/2011 at 11:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, the only positive thing my ex boyfriend left me was my pregnancy test. FML

by Emma-Louise / 05/20/2011 at 3:46pm / Intimacy

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

by bride / 02/14/2011 at 1:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

by seepeezy32 / 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture of his morning dump because it was heart-shaped. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Love

Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML

by >{%£•¥ / 11/27/2010 at 2:08am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I witnessed a series of nude old people cycling in the city. I was eating. FML

by anonymous / 08/15/2010 at 9:12am / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

by Face / 01/09/2010 at 5:12am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I finally finished vacuuming my downstairs. Instead of finding the wall outlet and unplugging the vacuum, I triumphantly tugged the cord from across the room to release the plug from the wall. It flew at me at top speed and hit me in the face. FML

by ouch / 12/12/2009 at 3:36pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got no happy birthday wishes from anyone. I decided to call my sister to see if she'd remembered. My 6-year-old niece answered, so I told her it was my birthday. She said that it's tomorrow. After ten minutes of arguing with a 6-year-old, I checked the calendar. It's tomorrow. FML

by forgotmyownbirthday / 11/27/2009 at 9:26am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the student tutor my son advised me to hire was my son's girlfriend. I have been paying her $20 an hour for the last 3 weeks to make out with my son in his room. FML

by Anonymous / 10/07/2009 at 7:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

by Udxero / 09/10/2009 at 3:51am / United States (Texas) / Kids