Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

valdancer99

Search for a member

valdancer99
  • Town/Country : Boring Town, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 November 1994 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 573
  • Number of comments : 149
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About valdancer99 : Competitive Gymnast for 10 years and counting ( I started gymnastics when I was one and started competing when I was 3) and I really barely go on FML.

valdancer99's last visitors

MornaidragonfirefairyTristan_austraphannejren207ShowmehowtoliveBierwirthmeintx

valdancer99's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

valdancer99's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought a UV light so I could detect cat pee, since I was sure my cat was relieving herself on the carpet. I decided to try it out in the living room first. Nearly half the room lit up like a Christmas tree. FML

#17829441
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24273) - you deserved it (3405)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:15pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

#17718767
348 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33927) - you deserved it (6436)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)

Today, I sneezed so violently that my tampon came out. FML

#17227905
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53031) - you deserved it (5466)

On 07/23/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Sarah - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62950) - you deserved it (5691)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, the only positive thing my ex boyfriend left me was my pregnancy test. FML

#16268222
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47970) - you deserved it (9130)

On 05/20/2011 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Emma-Louise (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40035) - you deserved it (7604)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

#14802825
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15573) - you deserved it (51438)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -

Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture of his morning dump because it was heart-shaped. FML

#14608701
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27060) - you deserved it (5123) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML

#13995659
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22769) - you deserved it (2659)

On 11/27/2010 at 2:08am - intimacy - by >{%£•¥ - United States (Oregon)

Today, I witnessed a series of nude old people cycling in the city. I was eating. FML

#12536404
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28217) - you deserved it (3719)

On 08/15/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by anonymous - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

#7231938
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9466) - you deserved it (22166)

On 01/09/2010 at 5:12am - misc - by Face (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML

#7189298
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53315) - you deserved it (2576)

On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally finished vacuuming my downstairs. Instead of finding the wall outlet and unplugging the vacuum, I triumphantly tugged the cord from across the room to release the plug from the wall. It flew at me at top speed and hit me in the face. FML

#6723813
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4523) - you deserved it (30420)

On 12/12/2009 at 3:36pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got no happy birthday wishes from anyone. I decided to call my sister to see if she'd remembered. My 6-year-old niece answered, so I told her it was my birthday. She said that it's tomorrow. After ten minutes of arguing with a 6-year-old, I checked the calendar. It's tomorrow. FML

#6476260
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4985) - you deserved it (40260)

On 11/27/2009 at 9:26am - misc - by forgotmyownbirthday (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that the student tutor my son advised me to hire was my son's girlfriend. I have been paying her $20 an hour for the last 3 weeks to make out with my son in his room. FML

#5708797
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24382) - you deserved it (11624)

On 10/07/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: