About vacantdreamer : What can I say? I'm a pessimistic optimist, I know what I want and I work my ass off for it, and I absolutely love it when someone tells me I can't do something, because then I get to enjoy that look of bewilderment on their face when I succeed where they said I would fail. Call me a bitch if you will, I embrace the title since my life is what I make it, and NO ONE tells me how to live my life. Liars, cheaters, fake people, they can all get the hell away from me, there is no room in my busy life for their dumbass drama.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, the love of my life sent me a text saying "touch my pork". Somehow I don't think my feelings are mutual. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14383) - you deserved it (2810)
On 03/18/2010 at 6:24am - intimacy - by burgeee - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, I finally realized that the only time my mother talks to me is when she needs money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23490) - you deserved it (2467)
On 03/18/2010 at 1:18am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was walking down the hallway when someone opened a door, smashing it into me. The bump makes it look like I have a third boob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18035) - you deserved it (3096)
On 03/17/2010 at 12:16pm - health - by Ouch (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I decided to fake it when my husband and I were making love. Afterwards, he told me that he could tell my head was "really in the game" and felt a stronger connection with me now and was glad I opened up and "let go" with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6914) - you deserved it (29262)
On 03/17/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by shouldabeenapornstar (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, the pictures from last night's party were put on Facebook. The pictures that show me getting in a drunken fight with a girl and her putting my face through the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4671) - you deserved it (26517)
On 02/20/2010 at 12:29pm - misc - by creamed (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13084) - you deserved it (30695)
On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26091) - you deserved it (7461)
On 01/10/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by coinoperatedgirl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6027) - you deserved it (43503)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was studying for one of my finals that I had later in the week but decided to take a break and play around with my boyfriend in bed for a couple hours. We decided to 69 for the first time, and everything was going great until out of nowhere, I loudly farted in his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17024) - you deserved it (8073)
On 12/14/2009 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Gassy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out that my daughter is dating my boss' daughter. I found this out because my extremely homophobic boss told me and wants me to 'heal' them or get fired. I didn't even know my daughter was gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17311) - you deserved it (1937)
On 11/01/2009 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56412) - you deserved it (3657)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26820) - you deserved it (6522)
On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was on the phone with my mother making arrangements to go to a dinner tonight where I will be honored for my political activism. She made it clear she's only going for me, and does NOT support the gay rights group that is putting the dinner on. I was planning on coming out after dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35577) - you deserved it (5411)
On 08/08/2009 at 7:59pm - misc - by acorn (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54039) - you deserved it (6077)
On 08/06/2009 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my light saber'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43095) - you deserved it (7427)
On 08/02/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by dam01 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 20 May 2013
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