[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

v4n3554444

Search for a member

v4n3554444
  • Town/Country : Seattle, United States of America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 21 December 1931 (80 years)
  • Number of visits : 1109
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About v4n3554444 : blunts ova bitches.

v4n3554444's last visitors

Freezepinz26masterbaker11JBetterton281gothe_kidd_8Samantha_babyAero_boyCuervo23samantha_durano

v4n3554444's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

v4n3554444's favorite FMLs

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188 (453)

I agree, your life sucks (33670) - you deserved it (6913)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML

#7189298 (223)

I agree, your life sucks (48441) - you deserved it (2069)

On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

#7103723 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (12480) - you deserved it (2030)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by xxxzzzooo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

#6768891 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (18645) - you deserved it (4877)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I visited home. My drunk mother was screaming to my drunk stepdad about a fight four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "Orgasm face." And the neighbors were dancing outside coked out and naked. FML

#5344643 (255)

I agree, your life sucks (56725) - you deserved it (2967)

On 09/19/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML

#5224172 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (50122) - you deserved it (2484)

On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

#5021908 (291)

I agree, your life sucks (11183) - you deserved it (47865)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm - health - by keeperstride (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML

#3521294 (501)

I agree, your life sucks (44949) - you deserved it (23918)

On 07/06/2009 at 1:55am - misc - by expen_dable (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw my crush walking on the other side of the street. She hadn't noticed me, so when she did I nonchalantly looked over and casually waved to look cool. I then walked right into a lamp post. FML

#2991516 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (16029) - you deserved it (24408)

On 06/18/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML

#849037 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (46538) - you deserved it (6637)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:08am - love - by no_leather_of_any_kind - United States (Oregon)

Today, while taking a test, I heard a buzzing in my purse. Thinking it was my cell phone vibrating, I nudged the purse under my desk, but the sound only got louder. My teacher, who has a strict no-cell policy, walked over to remove the phone from my bag. She pulled out my vibrator instead. FML

#792357 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (14570) - you deserved it (62980)

On 04/03/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

#644123 (229)

I agree, your life sucks (66617) - you deserved it (11017)

On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend called, asking, before I could even talk, to bring a condom- NOW. I had to smile at this request. I went to his house. A blond girl opened the door. He followed shortly, surprised to see me. I'm Celine. She's Cecile. Our names are one apart on his cell. FML

#271900 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (128247) - you deserved it (5961)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by manticora (woman) - Tunisia (Bizerte)

Today, I woke up next to a beautiful half naked brunette in my bed. 2 minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML

#17 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (52279) - you deserved it (13173)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:27am - love - by Jonathan -

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but in fact, it wasn’t her. FML

#15 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (13279) - you deserved it (70197)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:25am - love - by Anonymous -