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Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She didn't say no, she didn't faint, and she didn't cry. She just stared at me blankly and said, "But... why...?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36689) - you deserved it (2350) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/29/2013 at 9:29pm - love - by Badam - France (Aquitaine)
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38177) - you deserved it (11657)
On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31150) - you deserved it (418)
On 03/29/2013 at 4:23am - work - by CoolStoryBro -
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33257) - you deserved it (12598)
On 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27915) - you deserved it (12002)
On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)
Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34364) - you deserved it (3687)
On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29356) - you deserved it (2992)
On 03/27/2013 at 3:29am - work - by apparentlytoougly (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23933) - you deserved it (1765)
On 03/27/2013 at 2:47am - misc - by Imafishyfishy (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31995) - you deserved it (13802)
On 03/27/2013 at 1:04am - health - by first time at McDonald's in months... - United States
Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31860) - you deserved it (4581)
On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, during a sex ed lesson, we were given a lecture on pregnancy and abortion from the school nurse. Throughout the session she kept repeating, "Of course, Sophie knows ALL about this." The nurse happens to know that my dad's a gynaecologist. That's not what everyone else in the year thinks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35572) - you deserved it (1614)
On 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Soph (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming "Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32107) - you deserved it (4537)
On 03/25/2013 at 5:45pm - love - by franky (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)
Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32278) - you deserved it (2821)
On 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by f-ugly - United States
Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25998) - you deserved it (5122)
On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27736) - you deserved it (6368)
On 03/24/2013 at 7:47pm - love - by fuckyoutoo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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