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Today, I received a text message from my favorite sister saying "Great news! The technology in condoms has improved so much that they ensure that accidents like you won't ever happen again!" Today's my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36688) - you deserved it (6556)
On 09/01/2009 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46430) - you deserved it (3482)
On 09/01/2009 at 12:48pm - money - by adriana (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46430) - you deserved it (3482)
On 09/01/2009 at 12:48pm - money - by adriana (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs, I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex and afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd had great sex also. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52263) - you deserved it (3447)
On 08/28/2009 at 7:43am - intimacy - by Phoellie (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56272) - you deserved it (7310)
On 08/25/2009 at 12:04pm - love - by Sarah (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I caught my dad squishing my stick-on bra cups in his hands, trying to figure out what they are. He's an engineer who graduated from MIT. I still don't think he knows what they are. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26783) - you deserved it (2777)
On 08/23/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by Kegronauer (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40084) - you deserved it (122919)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50626) - you deserved it (9073)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (92852) - you deserved it (6033)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (92852) - you deserved it (6033)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9637) - you deserved it (57177)
On 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by hunnydoll (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my drunk uncle threw my brand new iPhone 3GS into my pool, ruining it completely. When I asked him to pay for the 600 dollar replacement cost, he said he wasn't responsible for his drunken actions. All of my family members are on his side. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59140) - you deserved it (2804)
On 08/15/2009 at 12:32am - money - by Shadyblood (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30725) - you deserved it (71452)
On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37629) - you deserved it (61543)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43650) - you deserved it (2151)
On 08/04/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by superfiedman (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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