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v1kt4r

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 November 1987 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 25553
  • Number of comments : 251
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>LizGillz</b> - 21 hours ago<b>heroqucas</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 6:19am<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 9:13pm<b>Marjo86</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 12:58pm<b>0x48656C6C6F</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 9:32am<b>begabtesKind</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 5:05am<b>Ogechi</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 4:01pm<b>shabadabba</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 7:32pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 2:48am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 9:08am<b>makaila168</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 12:28am<b>Frowny</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 12:01am<b>kaythanxbai</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 10:44am<b>jade_midori</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 6:47pm<b>M3DO</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 4:24am<b>21PGreenDay</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 7:07am<b>alkanbigdick</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 9:11pm<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 3:15am

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v1kt4r's favorite FMLs

Today, I wasn't feeling too good, and took my temperature. I had a fever, which I told my boyfriend who was laughing hysterically when I told him. I asked him what was so funny, turns out he's been using the thermometer to take our dog's temperature sometimes. Rectally, of course. FML

#5332273
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41721) - you deserved it (5389)

On 09/18/2009 at 1:48pm - health - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I wasn't feeling too good, and took my temperature. I had a fever, which I told my boyfriend who was laughing hysterically when I told him. I asked him what was so funny, turns out he's been using the thermometer to take our dog's temperature sometimes. Rectally, of course. FML

#5332273
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41721) - you deserved it (5389)

On 09/18/2009 at 1:48pm - health - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I took my 5 year-old son to the barber shop. When the man finishes with him, I tell the guy, "while we're here, I might as well get a trim too." My son then exclaims very loudly in front of a very full barber's shop, "Dad! You don't need a haircut, you need hair!" FML

#5327120
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34127) - you deserved it (6474)

On 09/18/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by ben (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it would not go down the pipes. After about ten panic filled minutes, I notice the cat litter box. I carefully scoop out my logs, and bury them in the cat litter. FML

#5325654
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19619) - you deserved it (47755)

On 09/18/2009 at 12:29am - animals - by Poowee (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML

#5292418
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22325) - you deserved it (101885)

On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31408) - you deserved it (5404)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

#5276065
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66869) - you deserved it (3949)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line tells me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I've got a headache, my legs are stiff and my date must think I stood her up. The tech finally arrives, pries the door open, then rudely asks, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

#5272541
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42364) - you deserved it (3396)

On 09/15/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by Stuckism (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line tells me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I've got a headache, my legs are stiff and my date must think I stood her up. The tech finally arrives, pries the door open, then rudely asks, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

#5272541
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42364) - you deserved it (3396)

On 09/15/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by Stuckism (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, while talking online with my boyfriend, the conversation turns sexual. He stops responding but I continue with the conversation. Then I get a response: "this is his sister. He fell asleep and I need the computer. I'll tell him you said goodnight, but not that other stuff". FML

#5266141
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26875) - you deserved it (7711)

On 09/15/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend of 8 months dumped me over the phone in between telling the Subway employees what he wanted on his sandwich. FML

#5230758
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49209) - you deserved it (3328)

On 09/13/2009 at 3:18pm - love - by misc (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML

#5228952
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42507) - you deserved it (4346)

On 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. At the end of the night I got a cab ride home. I must have passed out because when I woke up I wasn’t at my place, but my parent’s house, which is the address on my license…120 miles away. The fare was $220. FML

#5223643
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14168) - you deserved it (43863)

On 09/13/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. At the end of the night I got a cab ride home. I must have passed out because when I woke up I wasn’t at my place, but my parent’s house, which is the address on my license…120 miles away. The fare was $220. FML

#5223643
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14168) - you deserved it (43863)

On 09/13/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML

#5201743
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29721) - you deserved it (2752)

On 09/12/2009 at 3:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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