v1kt4r

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v1kt4r

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 November 1987 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 26231
  • Number of comments : 251
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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v1kt4r's page activity

Visits<b>ajswifey91</b> - 3 hours ago<b>DrizzlePaws</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 12:39am<b>taylapenguin</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 3:30am<b>Ultigmr</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 1:42pm<b>killzmillz</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 9:56pm<b>tyee47</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 6:35pm<b>skylanderninja</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 10:29pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 7:39pm<b>hiddenUSERNAME</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 11:17am<b>CaptainCrow</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 7:33pm<b>luther48</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 7:52am<b>llamadramas</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 1:05am<b>Mad_Maxx</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 8:39am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 12:06am<b>Fuckthisbeabitch</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 6:50am<b>LizGillz</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 12:00am<b>heroqucas</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 6:19am<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 9:13pm

Fucked!<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 6:50am<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 1:38pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 4:20am

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v1kt4r's favorite FMLs

Today, I wasn't feeling too good, and took my temperature. I had a fever, which I told my boyfriend who was laughing hysterically when I told him. I asked him what was so funny, turns out he's been using the thermometer to take our dog's temperature sometimes. Rectally, of course. FML

by anonymous / 09/18/2009 at 1:48pm / Health

Today, I wasn't feeling too good, and took my temperature. I had a fever, which I told my boyfriend who was laughing hysterically when I told him. I asked him what was so funny, turns out he's been using the thermometer to take our dog's temperature sometimes. Rectally, of course. FML

by anonymous / 09/18/2009 at 1:48pm / Health

Today, I took my 5 year-old son to the barber shop. When the man finishes with him, I tell the guy, "while we're here, I might as well get a trim too." My son then exclaims very loudly in front of a very full barber's shop, "Dad! You don't need a haircut, you need hair!" FML

by ben / 09/18/2009 at 2:17am / United States (Utah) / Kids

Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it would not go down the pipes. After about ten panic filled minutes, I notice the cat litter box. I carefully scoop out my logs, and bury them in the cat litter. FML

by Poowee / 09/18/2009 at 12:29am / United States (Alabama) / Animals

Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML

by sarahh38 / 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2009 at 1:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

by benander / 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line tells me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I've got a headache, my legs are stiff and my date must think I stood her up. The tech finally arrives, pries the door open, then rudely asks, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

by Stuckism / 09/15/2009 at 1:16pm / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line tells me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I've got a headache, my legs are stiff and my date must think I stood her up. The tech finally arrives, pries the door open, then rudely asks, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

by Stuckism / 09/15/2009 at 1:16pm / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Miscellaneous

Today, while talking online with my boyfriend, the conversation turns sexual. He stops responding but I continue with the conversation. Then I get a response: "this is his sister. He fell asleep and I need the computer. I'll tell him you said goodnight, but not that other stuff". FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2009 at 12:44am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend of 8 months dumped me over the phone in between telling the Subway employees what he wanted on his sandwich. FML

by misc / 09/13/2009 at 3:18pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. At the end of the night I got a cab ride home. I must have passed out because when I woke up I wasn’t at my place, but my parent’s house, which is the address on my license…120 miles away. The fare was $220. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 4:12am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. At the end of the night I got a cab ride home. I must have passed out because when I woke up I wasn’t at my place, but my parent’s house, which is the address on my license…120 miles away. The fare was $220. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 4:12am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 3:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy