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v1kt4r's favorite FMLs
Today, the attractive guy I barely speak to in my statistics class gave me a rose for Valentine's Day because he remembered they were my favorite. My husband got me a roll of quarters and told me to go buy myself "something pretty." FML
by RosesAreRed / 02/15/2013 at 1:07am / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML
by bettercallpeta / 02/15/2013 at 12:42am / United States / Animals
by mattrd / 02/13/2013 at 4:01pm / United States / Kids
Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML
by IMadeAHandicappedPersonCry / 02/12/2013 at 11:57pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML
by Target / 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by tongue tied / 02/11/2013 at 3:57am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by maggu / 02/10/2013 at 11:26pm / Denmark / Miscellaneous
Today, I casually mentioned to my dad that it was the Chinese New Year yesterday. He accused me of insulting his intelligence by "making stupid shit up." I explained that it's real, and that we just use the Gregorian calendar, hence the different dates. He responded by grounding me. FML
by must be adopted / 02/10/2013 at 8:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, really desperate to get a job, I filled out an application for a dishwashing job. My application got tossed out, because I'm not an economics major like the other guy applying for the same job. FML
by Anonymous / 02/10/2013 at 12:55pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Work
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
by littlemiss / 02/10/2013 at 11:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 12:13am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 8:53pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health
by mydadsgonnakillme / 02/08/2013 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by katelynm / 02/08/2013 at 1:24am / United States / Love
- Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He… Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to… Today, I'm spending the night with the guy I've been interested in for a while. Instead of sleeping…