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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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v1kt4r

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v1kt4r
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 November 1987 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 10689
  • Number of comments : 202
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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v1kt4r's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to slowly explain to my daughter why her Facebook profile isn't a valid piece of ID. FML

#18815137 (280)

I agree, your life sucks (8274) - you deserved it (1361)

On 01/15/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by Ange (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

#18814672 (341)

I agree, your life sucks (7534) - you deserved it (2722)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States

Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML

#18813229 (238)

I agree, your life sucks (16616) - you deserved it (12307)

On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he feels empty inside when I'm not in the kitchen. This is the most romantic thing he has said to me in the past two years. FML

#18804066 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (7101) - you deserved it (1750)

On 01/14/2012 at 9:31am - love - by iheartmorons - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

#18791715 (239)

I agree, your life sucks (3284) - you deserved it (12053)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I tried to discipline my two year old son. Whenever I do this, he starts pointing and imitating me, and I can't help but laugh. This explains why he never listens to me. FML

#18735409 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (2395) - you deserved it (8035)

On 01/07/2012 at 12:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe". FML

#18734147 (205)

I agree, your life sucks (7812) - you deserved it (3370)

On 01/07/2012 at 9:12am - misc - by randomgirl - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I am 8 weeks pregnant. I have debilitating 'morning sickness' all day. And now I get to add peeing my pants every time I throw up. FML

#18734137 (237)

I agree, your life sucks (7665) - you deserved it (1239)

On 01/07/2012 at 9:07am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (4746) - you deserved it (8053)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

#18728006 (414)

I agree, your life sucks (9291) - you deserved it (1227)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my therapist told me, "I'm sorry, but I'm not qualified to handle your level of instability." FML

#18725353 (223)

I agree, your life sucks (10527) - you deserved it (1232)

On 01/06/2012 at 11:16am - health - by Ixi_the_pixie - United States

Today, I had to explain to my 25-year-old boyfriend why we cannot get pet raccoons. This is not the first time we have had this conversation. FML

#18721209 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (6745) - you deserved it (1753)

On 01/05/2012 at 10:45pm - animals - by britanyann (woman) - United States

Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML

#18713079 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (3272) - you deserved it (7855)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:58am - misc - by Kyle - United States

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (7751) - you deserved it (5505)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML

#18698902 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (9954) - you deserved it (1894)

On 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)